Sunday, January 25, 2009

As The (Family) World Turns...


Normally I just would not even go here, but having grown up in the original dysfunctional family, yes, if you google 'dysfunctional' you will see my family portrait. Actually my life is like Debra most recently said in a blog, 'Life can seem like a Tobey Keith song', well maybe not those exact words, but it is true...when you really come from Texas...

My song today is about a younger sister living in Texas who calls her big sister on almost a daily basis. The younger sister cries about how she lives in a shit hole of a situation with a long line of abusive relationships, married three times, the latest is married (to someone else), but they say they are, and live together. Eleven years of fighting, and who knows whom is hitting whom, since I never have witnessed it. A son who is thirty and recently brought a baby (Evan, another chapter) into their world of mental illness and misfortune. The mother has manic depressive issues too. No cars because they broke down, and no money for insurance. No jobs to ever be seen. Sister is on disability, because our government does not make house calls to check and see if they really need it. The son is now living on the street, and some how got unemployment checks from a job he actually stayed on more than a week? The sister wants to save money and come visit me, but she just keeps giving it over to the 'husband' and son, and then realizes they used her to get money, and then goes back to treating her like shit again, go figure. If she is not talking about this stuff she is sharing her real taking a shit stories; seem like every time I call her back she is in the crapper...(I made a funny)

So, I feel like the phone calls are broken records and repeats of the soap operas of my sad mother's lonely life in the sixties and seventies. (I am not knocking soap operas, so no hate mail please). My son once said to me when they were small as I was keeping up with 'All My Children', because the salon girls and clients were always talking about it and I was out of the loop on the stories...he said "Mom, could you turn off that TV and play with us, those people are always crying about the same stuff each week". That hit home, and I have never looked back.

Life is drama without the extra drama on television. I also am capable of writing a little into my novel I am working on. Hell, I could write a sad country song if I want! I actually am writing this so I can get back to finishing my first thirty pages of editing so I can send it over to my new editor Erika, but I needed to take a moment to push the negative vibes passed through the long distance wires of Dallas to New Jersey.

To finish this hopefully short story I told my sister when she began to talk about her adhesion's that were building up inside her body from all the surgeries she has had (she will show you the scares if you do not run fast enough), and from all the beatings she gets from the abusive men she latches onto...I said 'STOP'. "Sis, have you ever thought about journaling, or volunteering, or trying to think positive, write down some goals, or just get the hell out of you situation"?

She responded that she has tried all the stuff I was suggesting, but she was just destined to be like our mom, and live in the midst of turmoil and pain...to be alone, but not want to be alone...(hear little violins yet?)

My 'As The (Family) World Turns'...well she is the actress on the show that never ages, just has surgeries to stretch our her fake smile, and ends up related to everyone that married everyone else. The little sister was the most affected by the abuse and drama in the home of my youth, but the other siblings who also might have been do not even call, because I made it clear my number was unpublished (a whole 'nother can of worms). The sister Photonuts AKA Donna Kay, well we are not even related by blood, just marriage, and we always laugh and say "Just turn the damn channel when the story gets old"!

Sure I could cut this finger on that hand off too, but hell my dad made me promise since we were his only blood born from our mother, to look after her. Even he knew she was helpless, but I wish she had sense enough to educate herself and move on...maybe one day she will get my hints...In spite of my rant, I do love ALL of them! Thanks for listening Ya'll...

4 comments:

Debra said...

E - I know how you feel. My older sister is a train wreck too. I love her dearly, but she refuses to help herself. I understand your frustration!

Christine aka Mistress of Cakes said...

I just wanted to let you know this is exactly what I need to read today at this exact moment. Josh just came back from his mom's. Somehow she and your sister must be related. (She's looking to go to jail because she accused her now husband of going after her with a knife but the police did an investigation and found out she lied. Now she says she sees men coming after her lol. I would love to just tell her what it is like when men come after you for real. I have had a bowie knife put to my throat by my half brother) Thank you E. It made me look at my situation with humor instead of with the need to maim someone!

K said...

My family is also high drama. I have 5 siblings and none of them are "full" (my parents were both married 3 times). I hope they don't drive you too crazy.

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Wow what I story I was an only child and have no sibbling stories to tell. I hope your sister will take your advice I guess it's like anything in life we do it when we finally feel like it.

So much weight for you to have to take on! You're an amazing person and sister!