Monday, March 30, 2009

Fork It!
















'photo by Alexis AKA 'Dirty Rat' Mom, lol'


I was not sure whether I should post this on my 'Behind The Wheel Chef' blog since it is food related, or just share it here with some 'extra' gritty gravy (just like I like it). Obviously you see which one made the grade!

Things like this just do me in on my new eating lifestyle of low fat and gluten-free (no wheat, and low carbs)... I know in my heart that I am doing good and have lost weight (not sure were yet, maybe boobs, cause the stomach seems the same!). If we eat this stuff we still could live to be one hundred, because in my family longevity over rules junk food on both sides. All my relatives, and parents lived till their late eighties, and just passed from pure exhaustion of life. Food was never relevant in that equation. I just want to be able to run after my grand kids one day, and not look like the Pillsbury dough girl in slow motion *snorting laughter*...

Alexis @ AKA Mom posted this breakfast beauty, and I just wanted to formally say 'Fork You' to her for tempting me to stray from my healthy eating... (like how the fork is standing up tall in this thick and rich dish of hers) Why? Well, because the biscuits of my childhood are made from scratch in her post, and the sausage gravy is also the chunky gravy dream of my childhood... To be exact my daddy made this dish often when he would cook on the weekends. He called it 'Shit On (a) Shingle', or SOS to be exact! He was a cook in the Navy for years, and I loved hearing his stories of the big ships and the ports as he served us all up a big plate. Usually at 4 AM before we loaded up the boat and went fishing!

I miss my daddy, hearing his stories (I heard some doo'sies when I took care of him before he passed; all those poor broken hearted women he left in the corners of the world), and I miss this dish of goodness...and I truly mean it in a loving way Alexis!

Memories are the best tasting dish of life whether bitter or sweet...




















'Alton Glen Akin, fisherman, father, friend, and sometimes foe...and my son is a total mini-meme of him in looks, charm, with, but hopefully more 'heart' savvy on my part...'

I stole a computer...and my younger sister is a dinosaur!

















I keep waking up earlier and earlier each morning the past few weeks, and I guess it is due to the fact I am exercising and so busy each day (even my freakin' day off!). I have actually fallen to sleep totally exhausted. Once I wake up...brush teeth, potty, and water...then head straight into the office, and plop right down into hubby's office chair (while he is in the shower). Mine is not as comfortable. Also because a blog out there has made me obsessed with being a perfectionist! Yeah you know who you are...

The reason I woke up early today? I had a dream my sister came to visit. Yes scary, the younger 'needy' one that still lives down south. Long story short (hmmm is that possible in my case?), but we suspect she has cheated us, well me more, out of money from inheritance, and my checks I guess are in the mail void! She of course cashed our check and spent it last October...

Why are some families so dysfunctional like this? Okay, back to the dream. She came to visit and wanted to know why I have not called her, duh, maybe I am upset, and do not want to take it out on her (rip her a new one). Pleading with me that she did not cheat us, and that she did know the companies wanted a sixty day notice before changing ownership on the deed rights. (It has been five months). Then all of a sudden she changes into a Tyrannosaurus Rex and begins to chase me all over the place (she ate hubby), but I am smarter than her right? I go into rooms she cannot get into...yeah right! Sometimes shielded by thick plates of glass, yeah right...before I woke up, I was on the roof, and I could not see where she had gone... I think because in my subconscious I knew she was coming up the side of the house to the roof, and that would have been the end of me! She chews me up and spits me out...or maybe she is eating blog person that lurks...could they possibly be helping me?

I will not even try to evaluate that one AT ALL!

Now back to my computer theft career of late...Alexis AKA Mom and I have talked about this one! That it is a MAN factor... Hubby is obviously not concerned he has not been able to get on his laptop that sits next to my desk top, and look at his morning cartoon pages of the paper, play his new toy the IPod touch, check his email, or read the New York Times like he does every morning before strolling into his new management job? (major sentence fragment) Well it is because he is downstairs right now laughing hysterically at a cheesy movie he rented. He is watching the 'special features' he did not finish last night!

He put the movie in last night when we began to eat dinner (we always have a once a week rental movie night, and mostly his picks). After about ten minutes of watching the stupid thing I said, "Okay then, I have better things to do than watch this dumb thing", and cleaned up the kitchen, check my newest food post, and sipped my wine. He loves to rent these silly gore, or not so funny (in my opinion) movies that just either scare the crap out of me (zombies eating lots and lots of brains), are rented by under aged pot heads, or are out right stupid. Man does he love the out takes and special features, and he is not a pot head...never even would... I guess it is a guy thing, as I said Alexis and I discussed...

I love hearing him laugh like this though, and this is one reason why I love him so much (he got a kick out of my dream, made him chuckle). He is normally a quiet engineer type, and obviously I am the outgoing not afraid to speak my mind type. I know he is happy when I hear him like that, so let him be silly down there I decided, because I now control the office *laughing like a crazed woman*...

I am now thinking my dream would make a better movie for him (and he would love to see her eaten by another bigger and better carnivorous dinosaur), and that would make him laugh even more hysterically than ever, oh I am so bad)...*laughing like a crazed woman again*

Family is hard to fit into the crapper, and it might clog up the sewer, but lets try flushing it anyway...*swoosh*

Friday, March 27, 2009

Peeps & Tattoo's















Those two girls to the right of me are my 'Peeps', Gen @ Gensblogidddyblog, and Intern-Ang (my private culinary student). Guys call us 'chicks', so I say 'peeps'.

Who started that whole thing of BFF? I want to know (someone tell me please)...Paris Hilton? I just think it is funny when I hear BFF, when I think of how we used to say FB at one time... I was in a coversation with my new BFF, Dennis, and we were trying figure it out...life will go on though if I do not know, as I sit here and laugh...

Now here is some serious TMI...

Last night hubby and I went to a wine tasting with our AWS group (American Wine Association) over in Monroe, NJ. We were the first to arrive and I will say if you go over to my 'Behind The Wheel Post' you will read about my Indian Market Tour with the New Jersey Blogs. I was tired due to being up late two nights in a row doing my prep for teaching next week, and for the market tour. I still can talk a mile a minute and seem like I downed three cups of coffee, but then wanted to collapse once I got home. Nope, it did not happen!

Back to the party (see what I mean, off track already)... People start to arrive. The first three couples through the door are people who we know, and they are all great. Friendly all of them, but then...who comes through the door? Yikes, it is a woman who asked me to cater once, and I had to tell her no; I had a funny gut feeling about the whole thing, and went with it.

Well, she made no eye contact at all, and believe me when I say I am very friendly, and was not totally uncomfortable, but maybe it was a bit akward. I would have easily said I hope we can still be friendly, since we run in the same circles. She was however not going to let it go, and it was obvious. I would enter the room, she left. Her husband however was friendly, and had not problem with me. We kept up with the 'upscale' conversation of travel, wine, and good food to boot. That is until I felt POO hit the fan...

Suddenly the night was coming to an end for me. Tired and about to fall off the chair I was! I was sipping the wine, and they give small one ounce pours, but it was beyond my ability to keep up for once. Then the conversation steered towards small children getting ears pierced and then to 'Tramp Stamps' on the part of the woman I have been referring to. The other people, minus three or so did not, made comments about how they did not understand why people did it. I sat and listened. I also decided to stand up and say "Well Robert and I have to go now, because I am just too tired", but Robert stopped me and said we have to pay for our wine. I followed the host into the kitchen, as she was getting a gluten dessert ready, that I would not have been able to eat, since I am now a gluten free eater...

Once in the kitchen I ask for our total, and told her 'I have a tattoo'. Some of the other women heard me and said "Oh really"? So, that is when I went back into the living room and said to the group, including 'woman who started it and avoids me...I said "Well everyone I have a tramp stamp, and I am ready to go home". One of the guys in the corner stood up and said "Someone else here has a tattoo also". He and I laughed. One of the other women in front of her husband said she wanted one, but hubby wouldn't have it. I said mine told me to get my next boyfriends name if I did it, but he loved me enough to marry me anyway! You could have cut through the room with a butter knife... I guess what this boils down to is I felt it went on too long...

All I have to say is when Robert and I left is that I told him what a snoot that woman was and I was glad I told her 'NO'. He said he liked my 'Tramp Stamp', and was going to say something, but I beat him to the punch. I hope the other people realize what they were doing talking about something, and not realizing that they might be offending someone without knowing it. I had to speak up.

I am proud to say that I am a regular girl who loves life, and does not care if you decide to tattoo your entire body, if that is what you want. More power to you baby!

Okay now that I have let this go, I am watching this go down the crapper as I speak *swoosh*...

Overflowing Toilets















'Is this photo not the cutest you have ever seen?'


A blog friend of mine that some of you might know, but she has chosen to remain 'anonymous', so we will call her 'Dublingirl'... She is awesome. Why? Well because she and I connected like many of us have, and I cherish loving souls, even if I have not met you in person or otherwise. We talk back and forth on our sites, and connected. Dublingirl is a photographer professionally. She takes photos of terminally ill children for their parents all over, raised and raises money for their families (like I want to do), and gives her support through friendship to these children and their families. What more can I say! I myself having lost a child do not meet to many people face to face that understand, or at least in DG's case have seen first hand what I went through, and continue to face the emotions each day. We spoke on the phone recently and she understood that all a parent needs is their hand held, a listening ear, and a heart felt hug now and then... I hope to post more of her fabulous photos here regularly...

Which leads to my next point... In my 'Love They Self' post I talk about acceptance when we look into the mirror, and how we miss the big picture of seeing what is around us. Of late (my favorite new phrase) my post are on again off again funny ha-ha, and then serious stuff like this. I have noticed I do not get many comments on the serious stuff. I believe it is because it is a hard to face the seriousness that lurks inside of us. That is why we have to get down to business...

Self-condemnation in any form is nothing but a cop-out, a comfortable place to be where we have no responsibility to our true selves, only to our physical images... Do you remember me saying this in that 'other' post?

NOTE: I have been reading a workbook with my friend Gen @ Gensbliggidyblog, and we just finished our last chapter and will move into a new phase of our empowerment exercises by meeting several times a week, walking (to encourage weight loss, and support each other), and discussing positive things that happen, and how to keep our valves open...a sort of 'Law of Attraction' and positive thinking exercise.

Before moving onto the 'Dump' part of this post there is someone else's blog I want to share with you... FrankandMary @ Rejected Truth tells stories about her life now and in the past. Her latest post, Architecture Of A Relationship mentions how a woman she wants to reconnect with leaves a voice message saying "No thank you, I have moved on..." after Rejected Truth's parent has passed away. Why? Who really knows, but it is a good read, and example of how we get 'Dumped' on. How someone cannot forgive what happens, forget it (well you know), and move on...




















In the last chapter we learned 'The Dump It' exercise...

Fill up the bowl with all that shit (my words), the tank, and the page with approval-seeking things you do that you're ready to flush down the toilet. They can be things you say to put yourself down, things you dislike about the way you act or think, ways you dress or speak, people-pleasing things you do.

I feel there is one more thing that should be added to this, and that is when someone is unhappy in their own life they overflow it through negative into someone else's life. Not a lecture people, but the fact is when someone is unhappy the simply take it out on others. This should be foremost in our minds consistently... Why? Because I have this 'happy wall' that I am leaning up against along my road of life right now, and when I feel like stopping, rubbing my back on it to get some good happy vibes from my day (like a bear needing a good tree back scratch visual), and then someone comes along and shits where I stand...well, that is not good for either of us.

Okay, maybe there is a little hint in there that I found a pile of someone else's poo in my path yesterday? Yes I did *smiling though*. In the next part of the workbook it talks about 'Judge the road you have traveled...' Judge yourself, not others. Not that I am big on that supposed rule book out there in the world that says 'Do not throw stones', but it makes sense. Love yourself. What does that mean? Think about it...put that big ole pile of shit you are carrying around into the CRAPPER man! Let it go. Get happy. When others are around us and we are not happy with who we have become, or what we do; then they run like hell eventually.

I am not here to preach. I hate preaching, but the informative and helpful stuff I have been reading about, and sharing with my dear friend and first NJ BFF, Gen...along with all my other new BFF's recently is working, and rubbing off. I am seeing changes. Acceptance. We have a mission in life, should have no regrets, and if we do not keep our path's free of debris (or eyes open) then we will miss out on what it is we are really meant to do before we leave this world. I know what mine is now, and it may change down the road, but for now my heart is so full of love for myself, friends (you included), strangers, and those kids out there that Dublingirl and I love and adore so dearly; it has changed our lives for the better.

FLUSH THAT FUCKING CRAPPER FOLKS!

PAST POST: I AM KNOWMAN- Not a man, but still part woman...I skip through life like a nomad...trying each and everything, checking off my 'things to do in life' list happily, and think we are all so wonderfully and inescapably the most beautiful creatures when combined or in touch with each side...along with many other things on the planet, and universe. I have found my voice in this life and do say 'No' when I want ...without fear of not being liked, and seek to gain as much knowledge as I can. I am a freed Knoman.

PS... Funny Shit is always hitting my fan as of late, so I will share more later...

Thursday, March 26, 2009

The Whore Club Contest- Borrowed
















'It is not the one in red, or playing the harmonica...he's got legs baby'

Oh my my my! Busy with studying and getting ready for my Indian Market Tour on Saturday with at least twelve New Jersey bloggers, I have been busy. Plus, I had to go meet friends last night at an Open Mic, to which I have spoken of on numerous occasions. I did not get home until 2 AM in the morning...bad girl, but hey I got to sit next to the hottie that I would love to lick his face...oh yeah I said it! He called me babe, and I have lost four more pounds! He even kissed my hand when he left, and said he would email me... Oh, I will not sit by Microsoft Office and wait, I do have to work!

My new BFF, Dennis, a musician that I have hit it off with so well, we hang out at least twice a week now, we sit and laugh so hard about so many things. Why is it you can talk to some men about a really big range of topics, such as sex, and the friendship just works? He did ask me though "What is wrong with me" when my intern- Ang and her friend were guy gawking, and I replied "You are attractive, but we are buddies, and I cannot go there", but I did offer to lick his face, and he declined. Eventually after 'Open Mic Hottie' left BFF said he could see what I saw in the guy.

Oh Robert, you had better lock me in the house from now on... Well isn't a little flirting good for our self esteem? Besides, it gives me so motivation to go home and be extra extra flirty with my own FBH (new term, because honestly I hate that BFF thing, so Dennis and I joke about it)...how about HWB (hubby with benefits).

Speaking of which you have got to go over and read this blog, that Wunderwoman recommended, along with my blog yesterday. She mentions a site to check out called 'Twenty Four At Heart', and then you should find a post, 'The Whore Club Contest'. This was a funny read, so go check it out. Seems it is going around for people to send lecturing emails or comments to a blog about their content...

Here I am going to say it...again...Speaking of...Whores...I have admitted on numerous occasions that I was not the slut puppy many of my friends were since childhood (most are not around any more), but of late I have been thinking; that I wasted to much time being the 'good catholic girl' type all these years, and its time to get to the 'down and dirty' part of my dreams into my reality...maybe 'Open Mic Hottie' not only would let me lick his face, but I wonder "Does he have a motorcycle...Oh My My My...".

DISCLAIMER: Any of you out there that are offended by this...I might lick your face when I see you, if you send me an email or comment that says this is offensive...remember the title is TMI...and, I do this for fun and our imaginations...

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

On The Road Again- The Other Bike


















As of late I have been having hot and heavy dreams of gettin' down and dirty...well, we will just keep it at down and dirty...and then hot flashes come on as I see a hot leather wearin' husky biker dude whiz by me..."Its time to get down and dirty with my own bike" comes to this metal cowgirl's mind...

Yeah I know it is not the same, but here is my fast, fierce, furious, and very orange (favorite color) metal to the petal, with a touch of silver to give the cops a run for their money as I zoom by! The past few years have been my time for orgasmic orange colors, and when I walked into the bike shop last summer and saw this beauty. I said "Come home with momma you sweet looking young thing...". Being, this was the last one the shop had I just gulped as the salesman said "I will have to check if the frame can be fitted for you...and we do not have any more...

"Oh how I want you like I have never wan..."
I thought holding back my cry of 'whoa not another disappointment'. He came out and started working with it, and to my joy he said to "go give it a try". Off I went out the door, down the street, arms in the air (hey ...I still can do that?), around the corner, down another street, around another corner, and then I remembered that we had not paid for it yet, so I returned to claim it as mine!

Debra @ Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History was showing off her hot ride the other day, so I decided to pull mine out and take him for a ride in the sunshine! Cloudy days of winter are almost past, and the sun will give us renewed energy... Yes, I love the way his saddle fits so nicely between my legs. Soft, cushy, with just enough bounce. My feet slip right into the stirrups (well pedals), and off I ride into the wind... If worse comes to worse in the fall and he has been a bad boy...on the back porch he will go. Do not feel sorry for him, we can always wrap lots of vines around him and a thief thinks it is a pumpkin patch...

This is not quite the ride Debra has, but he is my training wheels to the big guy...Harley..."Oh baby I know you are calling my name...thoughts of your roar and hot motor between my legs still make my blood run so hot. "My darling you will have to be understanding and know I have another year to wait, and to talk the 'other' man in my life into letting me take you for my own. He is a little jealous that I might not ever come back once we have melded together...so, for now you are in my novella, Taking Cover and being taken care of by Casey Roberts. Sorry...mon amour, I have to share you for now...and its not with the buttocks and legs you prefer strapped around your rock solid torso"...
















A friend Howie, who is a musician heard I wanted 'Harley' and gave me this and said it will have to appease me for now as he sang...Strumming my pain with his engine, Singing my life with his wheels, Killing me softly with his song, killing me softly, With his song...telling my whole life with his roar...er...er...er...

Until then my darling, my Harley...mon amour est à jamais

Monday, March 23, 2009

Love Thy Self




















'Photo by E. Stelling/2008

When we flip the light switch on what do we really see in when we look into a mirror? Do we see just ourselves? Do we like what we see? Is there beauty that is not apparent but deserving of attention? After careful thinking of what has transpired in my life the past couple of weeks, and taking a good look at myself through others eyes, I realize now I should have practiced the 'Hug A Bum' chapter of my studies for the past few weeks...let my 'Positive Valve' open up on them...I am now...

Stories that involve the young Narcissus of myth, were spun to show how vanity and the mirror can become a fatal fantasy, and the beautiful boy's life forever changed in a negative way due to what he chose to see. If we could only realize what lies about us in our reflection's of a room is more precious than we could ever imagine. Even Shakespeare chose to write about characters who truly opened their eyes could see what virtual realities existed beyond the glass.

Self-condemnation in any form is nothing but a cop-out, a comfortable place to be where we have no responsibility to our true selves, only to our physical images. We can meditate, chant, play with crystals and incense, do yoga, and proclaim our divinity forevermore, but for as long as we hold judgments against ourselves, empowerment and awakening will be nothing but words.

Self criticism is a killer because it looks us inside our bodies. It closes our inner self, washing us in the most caustic, destructive negative energies that can be produced. Lack of self love is another expression for judgment, creating negative energy that closes in upon itself.

Nothing good is going to come of the disapproval of yourself. No abundance, no well-being, no perfect health, and very little joy. Holding yourself in low esteem will only show itself through unhappiness and misery...Love your self. Treat yourself to some self love. Go out and do things for yourself. You deserve to flip your switch on and give yourself approval and not put downs.

My photo represents that instead of looking into the mirror and seeing how your physical self has changed, but to look at the things around you that are reflections of how you love yourself. Instead of material beauty turn it into your inner beauty and show the world you deserve to be loved for what you have truly are and will be when you reach your full potential...

Open up your joy valve by accepting what you see in the mirror and 'Love Thy Self'. I do, and all of you out there. When I look into your mirror through your writing, etc., I only see what is inside. It matters not what you look like to me. There is NO reason to seek approval to make us better for this life.

Before we can become healthy and fit on the outside (the physical), we have to love what we truly are on the inside; which is what is eventually left on this earth when we leave our physical being. The only true thing that matters in this life to begin with. Most people have not even begun to realize what that really means...

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Thank You Time
















While hubby is downstairs watching some stupid zombie movie that he turns on while I am trying to eat my dinner, but the nausea of seeing dead people eating flesh has sent me up to the computer to send a shout out to Debra @ Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History.

I do not even remember entering her contest. I think that as usual a comment was left and figured like always "I never win anything". She announced the winners week before last, and my name was one of the three. I got it in the mail on a Thursday, and my hubby with his boyish pouty face said that I am getting a lot of gifts in the mail, and where is his. I told him I won it, and he said it was because I am so sexy (he always says that), and he might be right...who knows.

Thanks Debra, I love it...I actually was talking to a friend on my cell phone and said "I won a Vera Bradley 'Clip Zip ID' thing a ma-jiggy? A guy sitting next to me said "I do not mean to ease drop, but they are the line of purse and bags that look similar to quilt material". Okay why does a strange man know what it is and I do not, lol???

Psssst...hubby gets lots of 'my' thing a ma-jiggy's when he wants, so he can sooo stop pouting and go back to his stupid gorier movie...

Friday, March 20, 2009

Market Madness














If you can believe it, this girl is trying to cut back on her blog writing/journaling/diary...but after last night and the mistake of going over to a blog I do not want to read anymore, I just cannot help it! So I am sharing my late night 'Market Madness' with you...and I am not an 'angry' person...just disappointed in people...

I decided to go to the market late after all the other crazy 'dash-in on the way home from work' shoppers on a Friday night do their thang... Yes, I said 'thang'... Had to finish up my budget report for my new and official 'Culinary Instructor' position at a local private school. This opportunity is privately funded. I have met many of the students already and they are all really great. I am so looking forward to teaching on a regular basis.

Well after my almost two hours of walking each and every isle, writing figures down for the budget, and procurement reports (any food know it alls reading; its not a restaurant so I cannot order quantity and save money at this moment). For now it is only weekly till they get the program really built up. I make my way to the line...the woman and her son in front is nice and speaks to me, and then the Asian guy behind the cart sees some familiar ingredients ask me what I am making. We chit chat and then it is my turn to check out.

That is when the Poo hit the fan...AGAIN...the assistant manager decides to chew all the cashiers out in front of the customers, and as LOUD as she possibly can. "I AM WRITING ALL OF YOU UP IF THIS SHIT DOES NOT GET DONE RIGHT NOW...there is a basket over there...blah blah blah". These poor underpaid girls and guys are just staring at her which caused the cashier to stop ringing my stuff up. I am ready to get the f#@*% out of there and go home for the freaking day already, and have a glass of wine!

Well, when the woman finishes her rant the cashier looks at me, and I asked her "Was she kidding", she tells me no, softly and shakes her head. She looked like she was about to cry guys... So I put on my 'this is bull shit' cap on and walk over to her and said "Did you have to chew your employees out in front of all the customers in here"? She just stares back at me and says in a nice soft voice "Well they have baskets all over the store and I do not feel like they are doing their job the way it is suppose to be". I was prepared for her to jump me, but surprisingly she just stood there, I guess in shock that someone called her out on what she had just done.

I said to her "I never ever chew employees out in front of a client. There is a way to handle things like that and I am calling your supervisor and asking him to write you up"! On the way out of the door one of the cashiers and a customer said that was nice of me and thanked me, but I said it just was not right. I am tired of being a coward and not confronting these types of things. We are all equals in life, and should have the same chance to be treated respectfully. I am not afraid of being beaten up, or shot at, or anything. I have been talked down to, robbed at gun point, and beaten up over and over again. Time to stop being a victim. Time to stop the madness.

Put down that bowl of stupid and think about what you might be doing to others and how arrogant you look to those you feel love and 'ADMIRE' you so much...this stuff is why wars happen...

Let's Talk










Your probably saying what? That is all she does is talk...but not about other people? In a negative way...do I? I do not feel I do, but it is time for the POO to hit the fan people! (and if I have, I never mention names, I still have the right to vent when someone makes me angry; it did not stop them from slinging first without asking me to my face...) We all have the right to get mad...although my intentions of late are to release the negative and only keep my positive valve open so that life becomes what it is meant to be...full of energy for me to be who I was meant to be, and surrounded by those that compliment my nature by way of the 'Law of Attraction'...

When we get angry, and if you say you never do then the cartoon is for you, but seriously is this not what this blogging thing is all about. A venue to say what ever we need to say when we say it? The bad thing about it is that the public is able to come on our sites and read our content. Do I really care? Yes, on my 'Behind The Wheel Chef' I do, but that is because sex, body parts, bodily functions, racism, anger, crying, poo and anything else we can think of that others might find distasteful does not mix well with a pretty little family meal. Hmmm! It could (slooshing), but we will not get into that one today... If someone does leave a negative remark on your site that is mean't to be hurtful (or emails you) then leave it...others will see it and realize on their own that the person has no 'cooth', and is probably just an asshole who thinks their poo does not stink!

My point today is that this is like our diary of sorts. We write it to express our feelings about some subject matter, and if the public wants to read it then they do, if they want to comment on it, well they do...We hope in a nice mannerly way...without all the bull shit that they think we cannot see, but we do see it... If the public chooses to read something and make a comeback at the person who said it, maybe they feel guilty because they know what they said in the first place was just darn mean!!!

Get a clue public...Freedom of Speech...you can google it and read it, because its in the constitution, if you live in the United States that is...Some people feel the need to give advice to others, and feel they are 'helping' those people become better at what they might already be okay at, but my advice is 'Do not give advice if someone did not ask for it', or you might really be saying to the other person is that 'they suck' and you just told them how you really felt...How about simply asking 'Would you like my advice', and the other person has the opportunity to say 'Not really, but go ahead' (because they are too nice to tell you to F'off) and then leave it alone...

DISCLAIMER: This is not written about anyone specifically it is just in defense of a friend who was hurt recently and it makes me angry that we are suppose to be adults and some run around acting like little hurt kids on a playground. Fess up and say it to the persons face next time, and stop sending emails like a coward...

Thursday, March 19, 2009

TMI Girls Only! Sex & Giggles

I am blaming this post on a few dreams I have had lately, and a conversation with my childhood friend about seeing a guy so attractive you want to lick their face. This lead 'Friend' and I to start talking about being young and sex. Who does not talk about sex to their girlfriends...

How was sex in your early years?

Me- was not that great, I did not even enjoy it until I was 22 years old...
Friend- started sooner than I did, and enjoyed it a few years later...

Have you ever faked an orgasm?

Me- Don't we all?
Friend- Yes

Would you have considered yourself a sex addict when you were younger?

Me- Not until I had 'good sex', and I was married to someone that had sexual disorder, and it was too late.
Friend- Yes, couldn't get enough

Who was the most memorable 'Fake Orgasm' partner, and was it to just get away as fast as you could?

Me- I guess anybody before I was 22...wait I just remembered...
I ran into my neighbor (he was two years older) that I had a crush on for years, and he was horrible in bed...ruined that crush! (friend remembers him and laughed)
Friend- The guy from Belgium (E said "I remembered him" and laughed)

What is the strangest place you have ever done the deed?

Me- The caboose of a freight train while it was moving from Dallas to Ft Worth, and back...
Friend- On a golf course down the street from where E and I lived..

Have you ever discovered a partner faked an orgasm?

Me- Yes, a guy told me sex sucked with me
Friend- No, not to her face

I actually looked this up and it is possible for a guy to fake it...

Ask The Experts: It's possible — but infrequent — for a man to have an orgasm without ejaculating, or for a man to ejaculate without having an orgasm.

However, it's definitely possible for a man to pretend that he's had an orgasm or ejaculated. The most common reasons for faking orgasm are concern for a partner's feelings, wanting to appear normal, avoiding conflict, enhancing sexual excitement, and wanting sexual activity to end.

Has a guy ever had one a hilarious pair of underpants when they took their pants off just before sex?

Me- Red Speedos
Friend- Not that she can remember

Have you ever had sex with the same person your friend has?

Me & Friend- Oh yes, and we are embarrassed to mention his name, but it was not at the same time, and he was much younger than us.

Has anyone you have ever slept with someone who looked like a famous person?

Me- My hubby looks like Donny Osmond when he smiles, and his dark hair...
Friend- her hubby looks like Nicolas Cage...

Do you remember someone you were with that was really kinky?

Me- yes, many...but the drummer sticks out in my mind...
Friend- A guy she met with one ball at a night club, and was a police officer...

What did they want to do?

Me- It involved candles...but, another time involved my girls...
Friend- He wanted to spit on me during the deed...

Have you ever been with someone that was off limits, but you could not help yourself, or did you say no....

Me- several...but I honored the other person and did not go there...
Friend- No was never an option for me...

Have you ever traveled to another country, or on a trip and had a one night fling?

Me- Ireland, no disappointment at all! Actually my first time to take someone home from a bar and I was 33 years old...
Friends- England, one and I was disappointed because his wee-wee was extremely small!

Have you ever had a three some?

Me- yes
Friend- yes

Is there an aphrodisiac that gets you aroused, or romantic situation?

Me- dancing close, or just the brush of the skin
Friend- dirty talk

Looking back on how you were, do you consider yourself sexually happy now?

Me- Absolutely, but I feel it is the love between us that makes it so good!
Friend- Absolutely, sex with age is always better, and ditto!

Are you ever too old to make love?

Me- Never
Friend- Never

Well we decided that the reason why men get better with age is because we taught them everything they know...and we had the best laugh we ever remember having together...

I really do not care if anyone answers these, if you want to be anonymous then sign in and do these questions...

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Green, green, green, green, green, greeeeeeen...

...all I have to do is taste your lips of wine...night or day...oh that is the wrong lyrics...

I have to say that getting closer to fifty I am just a light weight! I can still meet people, listen to music, dance, have a great time, but the drink volume has dramatically gone down to a glass and half in a four hour range...and I am tired today! But Wooooo Hooooo, did I have a blast when the band started belting out U2 songs...Joyce where were you? In bed of course, where I should have been, lol... This is for Alexis AKA Mom who wanted to see the pictures :)













This is 'Dennis McJagger', but I called him 'McBlommers' all night...he is a great singer and cracked me up all night. He kept up that Irish accent with the the whole time...we were like cousins...










Here is the group that meets for Cultural Art Expression Open Mic every two weeks and we are growing...I am the one in the middle that looks like an Irish Frog squatting on the floor :)










Wendy (right), Sue and her daughter (far left) who just turned 21, and she borrowed my camera to take a picture of her daughter buying her first drink 'legally', since she just turned 21...but that photo did not turn out so well...










The Irish band in Alchemist & Barrister...Rich, my friend is playing accordion back in the right hand corner...a little dark I know! I was lucky the crowd let me get that close!










That 'McBlommers' is popping up like a leprechaun every where!










See what happens when a room full of green wearin' drunks get your camera! Is Joyce here?










I have no idea who they are, but they make a cute couple, lol, the guy on the right kept sticking his 'wet' finger in my right ear, and asking if I needed a wet willy...Help Robert!










WARNING: Alcohol impairs your vision and how quickly you respond to actions around you...










...see, it took him two photos to realize he needed to smile...a real off the boat Irishman in the crowd too!










What a sweet couple we hung out with, Nicko and Alexia from Greece. He is studying to be an Anthropologist, and she came to be with him. They asked me questions about our culture and why we celebrate 'St Paddy's Day'...I had to direct them to the bar for that answer...









Awwwwwwwe, aren't they even a cuter couple? Two happy Irish people going home together...

Monday, March 16, 2009

Green With TMI Envy


A Wish for a Friend
Wishing you a rainbow
For sunlight after showers—
Miles and miles of Irish smiles
For golden happy hours—
Shamrocks at your doorway
For luck and laughter too,
And a host of friends that never ends
Each day your whole life through!

An Irishman's Philosophy

In life, there are only two things to worry about—
Either you are well or you are sick.

If you are well, there is nothing to worry about,

But if you are sick, there are only two things to worry about—
Either you will get well or you will die.
If you get well, there is nothing to worry about,

But if you die, there are only two things to worry about—
Either you will go to heaven or hell.

If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about.

And if you go to hell, you’ll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends
You won’t have time to worry!

I wish all my blog friends a very best and blessed St. Patty's Day, and if someone does not make it through the day; then may they get through the gates of heaven before the devil knows your dead! ~An Old Irish Drink Toast *clink of our glasses may they go*

Sunday, March 15, 2009

I Stole this...

...from 'A Nut In A Nutshell'!

1. Did you date someone from your school?
Yes, a neighbor, Leslie Macsas he was two years older and we went out for four years

2. Did you marry someone from your high school?

Yes, the kids dad, but we did not know each other then

3. Did you car pool to school?
No we walked like they did in the 'OLD' days when the dinosaurs roamed

4. What kind of car did you have?
I did not own one until I graduated, and then it was a red bug

5. What kind of car do you have now?
Blue Kia Van for catering, but fishing as well

6. Its Sunday night...where are you now?
Just cooked Ethiopian meal, and watching 'Australia'

7. It is Sunday night...where were you then?
Probably hanging out with the old boyfriend, or Cheryl & Carol

8. What kind of job did you have in high school?
I worked three jobs, Jack-in-Crack, Typesetter for local paper, and after school program for dietitian at small hospital, and yes I have not changed!

9. What kind of job do you do now?
Smell the food cooking, I think most of you know what I do!

10. Were you a party animal?
No, I never inhaled or drank at all, sex came after high school too

11. Were you considered a flirt?
Have you see the high school pics, yeah I wished

12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?
No, just Speech & Drama..."I could've been a contender"!

13. Were you a nerd?
I don't think I was a nerd back then, but Cheryl said "get a clue, you so were", lol

14. Did you get suspended from school?
Nope, I did act like I was following some friends off campus but duct behind a tree and went back to the cafeteria with all the other nerds, my mom would have beat the living crap out of me!

15. Can you sing the fight song?
I don't even think I know what that is? A clue please?

16. Who was/were your favorite teacher?
Six grade teacher who brought her guitar and sang 'Puff the magic dragon'...lived by the sea in a land named hannaleeeeeeeeeeeeee

17. Where did you sit during lunch?
God, anywhere I usually saw Silvia Barrentos and the other nerds!

18. What was your school's full name?
R. L. Turner High School, Carrollton, Texas off old Josey Lane

19. Where did you party the most?
A couple of times I went with a girl I ran with Rena Foster down off the main drag, and I am having a senior moment, and cannot remember the name, oh Forest Lane in front of all the fast food joints...guys would sit out on there cars, or we all drove up and down...

20. What was your school mascot?
A Lion

21. Would you do it again?
Good lord no way...people say they wish they could be eighteen or 21 again, I say let me be 33 and in Ireland for that three weeks of accent heaven!

22. Did you have fun at Prom?
Meh, I went with my brothers friend, what do you think, he was more of a virgin than I!

23. Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with?
No, Tim kissed me and I think I felt him get a rise out of the occasion and ran off, never to be seen again, LOL, really!

24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion?
Never. Never. Never....ever have, and no desire! It is fun to hear from Cheryl & Carol about what goes on, but no temptation at all. Hubby's 30th was a blast every was hammered!

25. Do you still talk to people from school?
Still know everyone anyway...

26. What are/were your school's colors?
Maize and blue (Mine were too, or at least gold)

Go on now and steal it from me, it was fun, and legal...

Friday, March 13, 2009

Colorful Thoughts

Color Meaning


I lean towards warm colors like orange, reds, yellows...what does this say about me? Lately I have had some issues with people who have imposed negative vibes over into my space, and am learning to move on and continue my 'Vision Board' walk and keep my 'Law of Attraction' on the positive side...how about you? Are you a free loving person or a control freak? Just some random thoughts to share...

What does your colors say about you? I was walking with my intern Ang the other day and a woman stopped me to say that I wore my orange sleeveless vest well...and she left me feeling that in spite of my relentless fight with my weight I was walking around in my color ORANGE with an upright and positive vibe...

Red Color Red

Red is the color of fire and blood, so it is associated with energy, war, danger, strength, power, determination as well as passion, desire, and love.

Red is a very emotionally intense color. It enhances human metabolism, increases respiration rate, and raises blood pressure. It has very high visibility, which is why stop signs, stoplights, and fire equipment are usually painted red. In heraldry, red is used to indicate courage. It is a color found in many national flags.

Red brings text and images to the foreground. Use it as an accent color to stimulate people to make quick decisions; it is a perfect color for 'Buy Now' or 'Click Here' buttons on Internet banners and websites. In advertising, red is often used to evoke erotic feelings (red lips, red nails, red-light districts, 'Lady in Red', etc). Red is widely used to indicate danger (high voltage signs, traffic lights). This color is also commonly associated with energy, so you can use it when promoting energy drinks, games, cars, items related to sports and high physical activity.

Light red represents joy, sexuality, passion, sensitivity, and love.
Pink signifies romance, love, and friendship. It denotes feminine qualities and passiveness.
Dark red is associated with vigor, willpower, rage, anger, leadership, courage, longing, malice, and wrath.
Brown suggests stability and denotes masculine qualities.
Reddish-brown is associated with harvest and fall.


Orange Color Orange

Orange combines the energy of red and the happiness of yellow. It is associated with joy, sunshine, and the tropics. Orange represents enthusiasm, fascination, happiness, creativity, determination, attraction, success, encouragement, and stimulation.

To the human eye, orange is a very hot color, so it gives the sensation of heat. Nevertheless, orange is not as aggressive as red. Orange increases oxygen supply to the brain, produces an invigorating effect, and stimulates mental activity. It is highly accepted among young people. As a citrus color, orange is associated with healthy food and stimulates appetite. Orange is the color of fall and harvest. In heraldry, orange is symbolic of strength and endurance.

Orange has very high visibility, so you can use it to catch attention and highlight the most important elements of your design. Orange is very effective for promoting food products and toys.

Dark orange can mean deceit and distrust.
Red-orange corresponds to desire, sexual passion, pleasure, domination, aggression, and thirst for action.
Gold evokes the feeling of prestige. The meaning of gold is illumination, wisdom, and wealth. Gold often symbolizes high quality.


Yellow Color Yellow

Yellow is the color of sunshine. It's associated with joy, happiness, intellect, and energy.

Yellow produces a warming effect, arouses cheerfulness, stimulates mental activity, and generates muscle energy. Yellow is often associated with food. Bright, pure yellow is an attention getter, which is the reason taxicabs are painted this color. When overused, yellow may have a disturbing effect; it is known that babies cry more in yellow rooms. Yellow is seen before other colors when placed against black; this combination is often used to issue a warning. In heraldry, yellow indicates honor and loyalty. Later the meaning of yellow was connected with cowardice.

Use yellow to evoke pleasant, cheerful feelings. You can choose yellow to promote children's products and items related to leisure. Yellow is very effective for attracting attention, so use it to highlight the most important elements of your design. Men usually perceive yellow as a very lighthearted, 'childish' color, so it is not recommended to use yellow when selling prestigious, expensive products to men – nobody will buy a yellow business suit or a yellow Mercedes. Yellow is an unstable and spontaneous color, so avoid using yellow if you want to suggest stability and safety. Light yellow tends to disappear into white, so it usually needs a dark color to highlight it. Shades of yellow are visually unappealing because they loose cheerfulness and become dingy.

Dull (dingy) yellow represents caution, decay, sickness, and jealousy.
Light yellow is associated with intellect, freshness, and joy.


Green Color Green

Green is the color of nature. It symbolizes growth, harmony, freshness, and fertility. Green has strong emotional correspondence with safety. Dark green is also commonly associated with money.

Green has great healing power. It is the most restful color for the human eye; it can improve vision. Green suggests stability and endurance. Sometimes green denotes lack of experience; for example, a 'greenhorn' is a novice. In heraldry, green indicates growth and hope. Green, as opposed to red, means safety; it is the color of free passage in road traffic.

Use green to indicate safety when advertising drugs and medical products. Green is directly related to nature, so you can use it to promote 'green' products. Dull, darker green is commonly associated with money, the financial world, banking, and Wall Street.

Dark green is associated with ambition, greed, and jealousy.
Yellow-green can indicate sickness, cowardice, discord, and jealousy.
Aqua is associated with emotional healing and protection.
Olive green is the traditional color of peace.


Blue Color Blue

Blue is the color of the sky and sea. It is often associated with depth and stability. It symbolizes trust, loyalty, wisdom, confidence, intelligence, faith, truth, and heaven.

Blue is considered beneficial to the mind and body. It slows human metabolism and produces a calming effect. Blue is strongly associated with tranquility and calmness. In heraldry, blue is used to symbolize piety and sincerity.

You can use blue to promote products and services related to cleanliness (water purification filters, cleaning liquids, vodka), air and sky (airlines, airports, air conditioners), water and sea (sea voyages, mineral water). As opposed to emotionally warm colors like red, orange, and yellow; blue is linked to consciousness and intellect. Use blue to suggest precision when promoting high-tech products.

Blue is a masculine color; according to studies, it is highly accepted among males. Dark blue is associated with depth, expertise, and stability; it is a preferred color for corporate America.

Avoid using blue when promoting food and cooking, because blue suppresses appetite. When used together with warm colors like yellow or red, blue can create high-impact, vibrant designs; for example, blue-yellow-red is a perfect color scheme for a superhero.

Light blue is associated with health, healing, tranquility, understanding, and softness.
Dark blue represents knowledge, power, integrity, and seriousness.


Purple Color Purple

Purple combines the stability of blue and the energy of red. Purple is associated with royalty. It symbolizes power, nobility, luxury, and ambition. It conveys wealth and extravagance. Purple is associated with wisdom, dignity, independence, creativity, mystery, and magic.

According to surveys, almost 75 percent of pre-adolescent children prefer purple to all other colors. Purple is a very rare color in nature; some people consider it to be artificial.

Light purple is a good choice for a feminine design. You can use bright purple when promoting children's products.

Light purple evokes romantic and nostalgic feelings.
Dark purple evokes gloom and sad feelings. It can cause frustration.


White Color White

White is associated with light, goodness, innocence, purity, and virginity. It is considered to be the color of perfection.

White means safety, purity, and cleanliness. As opposed to black, white usually has a positive connotation. White can represent a successful beginning. In heraldry, white depicts faith and purity.

In advertising, white is associated with coolness and cleanliness because it's the color of snow. You can use white to suggest simplicity in high-tech products. White is an appropriate color for charitable organizations; angels are usually imagined wearing white clothes. White is associated with hospitals, doctors, and sterility, so you can use white to suggest safety when promoting medical products. White is often associated with low weight, low-fat food, and dairy products.


Black Color Black

Black is associated with power, elegance, formality, death, evil, and mystery.

Black is a mysterious color associated with fear and the unknown (black holes). It usually has a negative connotation (blacklist, black humor, 'black death'). Black denotes strength and authority; it is considered to be a very formal, elegant, and prestigious color (black tie, black Mercedes). In heraldry, black is the symbol of grief.

Black gives the feeling of perspective and depth, but a black background diminishes readability. A black suit or dress can make you look thinner. When designing for a gallery of art or photography, you can use a black or gray background to make the other colors stand out. Black contrasts well with bright colors. Combined with red or orange – other very powerful colors – black gives a very aggressive color scheme.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

A Sign?
















Is this practice for the post office? Are they trying to remind me that fifty is just around the corner? My hubby Robert brought this upstairs to the office with his pouty lip face and said they are taunting the two of us already...

Now I have to go and google AARP and see what they really have to offer us almost over the hill couple...

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Life is mine








Toy with me not for I am but a maiden at they merciless feet.

The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself.

Life is a process. We are a process. The universe is a process.

Writing is a process. Friendship is earned.

Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back.

Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that the stuff life is made of.

I am many parts of a whole; therefore I must express each part the way that works best. If you disagree with my ways; then you must walk past, so that I may move on, and I wish you a good life hereafter.

Is this a dagger which I see before me,
The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee;
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible
To feeling as to sight? or art thou but
A dagger of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain?
I see thee yet, in form as palpable
As this which now I draw.

--Macbeth, Act II, scene i

Life is not a dress rehearsal, so speak with conviction.



Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Got an opinion?

I decided that this is such an important issue that I would over flow it to my TMI blog...and no I have not taken a vacation from blogging, just had some issues with my tummy the past few days and ate some thing I should not have! I will learn...











If you have not read any of his books like Omnivore's Dilemma, or his current best seller 'In Defense of Food' then you had better catch up on some reading...


In a most recent piece by Mr. Pollan in the online version of New York Times, 'Health' section about how he is looking for submission's for research he is doing...Micheal Pollen Wants Your Food Rules

He goes on to say..."I’d like your help gathering some rules for eating well. My premise is that culture has a lot to teach us about how to choose, prepare and eat food, and that this wisdom is worth collecting and preserving before it disappears".

Pollan is giving us a chance to take our turn to say 'what works for us'...his own own Russian-Jewish grandfather used to say at the end of every meal, “I always like to leave the table a little bit hungry.” As opposed to science and nutrition research used in most recent years...

An old statement that comes to mind is that 'we eat with our eyes', and then our shove the food into our mouths until everything on our plate is gone. Since it was so good we then many times go back for more. I have timed my husband and his family, they eat in under 10 minutes. Did anyone actually enjoy the meal, savoring each bite as I find the most exquisite part of gathering, preparing, and sitting down to a wonderful meal? Any meal can be gourmet if you take the time to plan and execute so that the flavors and smells become part of the eating ritual, but what does it become if we 'swallow' without thought?

Many of us were told to 'clean the plate' or heard 'people are going hungry and would love to have that food'. Over time many of us find ourselves overweight or unhealthy, and have to retrain our brains. Our choices are not so hot either! Education starts at our tables with our own children.

Once again I take out my soap box and refer to the obesity problem in the United States, and my own problems with over eating due to emotional turmoil from my loss over the past eight years.

I am re-training myself to eat as little as possible, or the nutritionist in me should say 'portion control'. The 'Peanut Butter Cheese Cake' post that I did, I failed to mention that I had two bites, and was done. My taste buds have become in tune with my over sweet consumption (my biggest problem so far), and I before that had a bowl of curried greens my intern made along with three bites of the veal chop. Believe me I am a gravy girl, so I was glad we only made enough for that meal.

My family memories about eating were not so great, but my life lessons on the matter may help others...

Go check out Micheal Pollan's article...share and give him some good research material...by leaving a comment at the bottom of his article...

Micheal Pollan Offical Website

Greg @ Sippitysup has an interesting 'Tomatomania' blurb that is being hosted with some great tips on growing a garden...as a successful avid organic gardner myself throughout the years and if you are planning on a good crop I suggest you go read his blog site! It is 'Serious Fun Food' reading...

Monday, March 9, 2009

Its Debra's Birthday!!!

You have to come over to another site to see what I have for her...

Birthday Surprise

Come on over everyone!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Sunday Night Update















'My crazy intern, Ang is about to jump...but not because I did anything, lol'







'I will take my chances on the floor in the kitchen!'

This chef has plenty to say, but my day of teaching turned into an all day affair...wait till you see over at my food blog what my assistant and I accomplished...whewwwwww

Glass of wine, and chocolate covered pretzels are waiting, so tomorrow I will be able to think!

Friday, March 6, 2009

Two Girls Brought Together Forever
















'I would babysit the kids so that the parents could go out now and then; otherwise they felt they could not let anyone be responsible, until they met me! She, her brother and I had fun...'


Innocence born into a world of pink, unicorns, frilly dresses, hugs and laughter were two girls from different worlds...


Only love can, only love can give such a start...

A girl of twenty four exploring her western world at such a fast pace with college, teaching aerobics, night life of fun and dancing, and then starting a new career. Only she saw her life flashing so fast, but it seemed so much more than the life of poverty that was left behind. Struggling still existed, but a world of possibility lay ahead.

In this time she met a man who made her laugh, and gave her hope of finding the love she so wanted and felt was missing from her existence. The empty host soon was filled with new life and joys more precious than her wildest dreams. A life came, but was denied a long term contract, only to be replaced with a tears and sadness. The girl of twenty six soon realized that her heart had been replaced with a rhythm of response and control to change her fate that envisioned a soul full of more passion that would unfold, and another life of laughter and schemes...true meaning found its way into all their lives...


I was born, I was born to be with you...

Across the seas many years in Asian land love began to surrender to what they had always believed. Hands were sealed to love and commitment that would bring them back across oceans. American dreams brought about two lives, and a parallel in life and loves. When the numbers were counted by hours, days, or months, a life would forever change voices, and bring about broken dreams...

Only love, only love can leave such a mark...of black and blue...

Spring brought into it a life that was soon followed by the loss of the western life that was set free to become angel dreams, becoming pain words that felt as though they did not say anything. Soon peaceful life and chaos cries worked itself out and stood next to truth, going slow, but never made any heroes. A river of life swept two mothers onto shores of generation and brought to life a friendship that will forever be tied...

Only love, only love can be so magnificent...

The western woman who once twenty four now was much older. She saw pain the eyes of the younger Asian woman's shadow that only one who shared the same fate could the other hide. An opportunity to make an impact a love offering, and open wounds so that the younger of the two could see the hope. Throughout a few years the two towers stood tall together, sharing all things that even a death sting could not tear down...

Life like this can only be, only be such a joyful noise...

The heavens opened up and a beautiful angel came to bring another home. They run and play and talk about silly frilly and pink things. They are the two towers that stand tall together so that the ones left behind on earth forever will remain...















An eight and half and one year anniversary of loss, what love, friendship has brought makes an afternoon of tea, an eternity seem like only hours, weeks, months echos in a room as if it was only moments. The older woman realizes intuition, dreams of empty rooms, shadows, and a piano had been foretold...

In memory of Anelisa & Anjali, two beautiful girls and their mothers who will know that a lifetime of love and friendship can ease a pain so deep...

Many people who are close to me know that I took a position in a household over three years ago as a personal chef, and assistant to a local Indian family, because their daughter had CHD like my own daughter that has passed away many years before. I saw an opportunity to help a younger woman who lived in a world were these things just never happened, and were not so excepted. This little girl would take her hands and place them on my face and stare into my eyes as if my own daughter was speaking to me. Many thought I was nuts to take on such a responsiblity, but honestly how else do we learn, but through mistakes, heartaches, and the giving our ourselves.

Today I still am a big part of their life, and now shares a bond with me that no one else I have met will ever understand. Her son is a joy to watch grow up just like my own son, and I have hopes of talking her into having another baby, and we renegotiated my position in their household, and I know I have job security here...

Lyrics ~ Magnificent, U2 - 2009