Friday, September 2, 2011

Feeling Secure- Poem Share

















Are we? Really?

I often feel driving is the safest mode of travel. But in the past, experts say flying is safer than driving.

I have airplane issues, so I prefer to drive. You see more, creative juices flow, and so on...

Trying to decide where to go with this. The photo above is like a story of someone who runs from their fears or monsters, but at every turn they see them in unlikely things.

Monday I discovered the pool was open and decided to take a walk. When I saw it was possible to go for a swim, I did. The water over the past three weeks, with night air cooling down from the eighties, this was no different, it has been cold. Maybe a few degrees cooler, uh yes, but I could handle it right? I went in head first. It was then the memory of hitting the river in 'As The World Churns', well, it hit me. A cold blast of somewhere between I cannot breath, and what was I thinking. But the body and mind did worked together.

With help from my legs. I pushed on and used it for an advantage, of weight control. Exercising vigorously the past two months has been great. Another monster to conquer. But the pool is no river. A bit calmer.

Rivers are monsters we should never challenge.

I have never tried using Greek Mythology in my poems before, until this. I have heard a local guy who attended my open mic, reading his own GM filled works. At times I felt it was boring, and had heard others say the same, but now I think his work will make more sense, and I have a greater appreciation. I do like reading about mythology. Jessie Carty has switched our poem share from Thursday to Make Friday Write!

       Before Man Grew In Numbers

       "Wild as the blasts of roaring Boreas, or shouting Notos
       when with hurricane-swoop he heaves the wide sea high, 
       when in the east up-rises the disastrous Altar-star 
       bringing calamity to seafarers." -Fall of Troy

       their voices proceed       
       lurking, just beyond dense wood
       where primordial son, Euryalos run
       cyclops wide stepping and clumsy
       moving land and 
       leaving the fallen under feet
       to brothers rot and decay
       under gods who
       make sanctuary of gray monument
       of rivers reaping blood
       forging tears from woman's womb
       filling a monsters shoes.

Here are my original lines that lead to the above-

       I begin looking for the fallen
       down rich green paths
       man made signs direct us, past 
       gray monuments
       our feet pressing down
       new shoots, flowerless
       bottom life forced back


       a beetle settled on green leaf
       speaking to the sky
       talking of water gods
       they had already arrived
       for centuries left in command
       brothers fear and paralysis
       began laying the foundation
       bringing this sanctuary to a close.

Not sure where I will go with these. I am trying, and have written many more lines.


This is the river view after it took part of Route 287 (above and below). Local police and road workers look down in amazement. I look at the layers of dirt and sand put down over the years as the road is built, then widened, and see how the power of water can do such damage. I also understand how monsters are used to create more power.

But do monsters have a conscious? Or do they just unleash nightmares...

7 comments:

Bagman and Butler said...

Thanks for sharing the original lines that lead to the final poem. I find it amazing sometimes that the initial words are merely ways for the mind to restructure thoughts.

Debbie said...

Elizabeth . . .you amaze me at the variety of things you write about. :) I really liked the bottom poem best!

Jessie Carty said...

Love that you stepped out of your comfort zone to do this! When I went back to grad school Ovid was one of the writers I went back to. I found myself making new metaphors out of old mythology! I think it works the way you did it with inspiration versus over use of allusion :)

Farmlady said...

I agree with "Debbie". I like the bottom poem the best... but I also liked showing the two drafts and how the poem developed.

Pearl said...

"beetle...water gods", love that bit.

crazy what force water can have.

shrinkingthecamel.com said...

Really interesting places you are going here.. Monsters with a conscious? Who would have thought such a thing!

Keep on with the poetry-writing! (And the plunging into cold water!)

Toon said...

My favorite part:
"a beetle settled on green leaf
speaking to the sky
talking of water gods"
...that's fine writing!!