Are we immune to our surroundings? How often do we just sit and listen to the silence? Does your mind speak louder than white noise?
Yes, I think way too much. Or so I have been told.
(Poem removed by author for submissions)
I stumbled upon a great video poem site, Moving Poems by Dave Bonta. (Toon, you should start checking these sites out, and join us/share your work via creative writing teacher/poet, Jessie Carty's 'Blog' site!) Well, really it was through Diane Lockward's 'Blogalicious' recommendation where I found this wonderful blog. I could spend hours in that site. And it did inspire something.
You can go watch Raymond's video poem Orphan's here, but do not turn down the volume, and yes, I really did watch a show on television with the fan on and no way to hear them talking, and the rest is...in the poem.
6 comments:
Nice cinematic poem! I bookmarked the sites you suggested. I don't know much about poetry which I think is why I enjoy writing it.
Wonder if you could somehow work in more context to the title. What kind of show was it? I love the war imagery you start weaving in. Only line that didn't seem as necessary was: making confessions in silence.
Such great stuff here though!
Maybe 'My Eyes Are Listening'
I can see that being weak Jessie!
That's a pleasant romp!
I think a fuzzy patch could
be honed by doing:
"mind filled with"
-->
"mind filled in with"
Those who make confessions in
silence a lot probably savor it
more...heh. (moi)
You could make it less passive
and pick up some sounding with
"confessing in silence", though.
Or cop to the popular
hyper-eloquence shtick with:
"confessing to the silence"
or turn the volume to 11 with
"confessing sighs
to the mocking skies"
...hahaa..sorry, just
rumbusticating al flagrante there.
What an interesting poem, Elizabeth! Wow! Such a cool thought and how you turned it all out.
Loved the comments too!
Thanks Elizabeth for keeping it going here!
a good exercise. words are just the Ent version of communication. real speed is body language.
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