Happy Birthday Anelisa!

As most of you know I still celebrate, like many do, my deceased daughter's birthday...

She loved so many things, but Cats was adored as if she was an Egyptian Princess (and she was). Robert bought this for her, and it sits on top of the television to watch over us, and I am not so allergic to the stuffed ones! I swear she talked to them, and her first words were 'Ki-Ki'. She was behind developmentally due to her illness and the speech therapist suggested I get something to stimulate her speech, and ability to pull her self up to begin building strength...well guess what I went out and did? I have the ability to pick up strays, lol, animal or otherwise!

Her diary sits on my desk book shelf, with its pink heart to remind me of why I was blessed to have her for fourteen years. Many of her friends had a diary, so she informed me it was time for hers, and I obliged. I look at her hand writing and not only did she look and act like me (except cats), she wrote in the same handwriting and was a superb artist with pencils, water colors, and anything she did creatively...

She is and still will be a marvelous creature of creation, and we are privileged to share her memories...

Anelisa..."Blah Blah Blah and Smackity, Smackity"...Love and Kisses your best pal, Mom

I have a social life again!

I bet some were wondering if Chef E was slowing down a bit...NO, I was out with the girls tonight. My two new friends from my Open Mic met at my place for a quick homemade Soba Noodles and Thai dinner, and then we traveled down to South Jersey for some 'Expressit' Coffee House Open Mic.

The move from Texas to St Louis and then to here four years ago, I have found it is hard to make quality friendships. Some are flaky, some have to much going on and not time to sit and enjoy quality conversation (they fit you in to there over packed schedules), and some "already have enough friends" (in a whiny voice), or my husband is too quiet for them, or he makes more money than theirs and is a wine and food snob...oh yeah I have heard it all, so I decided to take it easy and try and be happy with my work, and occasional going out with hubby. Gen has been great, but sometimes we need one or two more to hang with to balance it out, and I was starting to feel a little lonely lately...hubby traveling and all.

All I have to say is my karma must be good, because these two women who are more my age, my friend Gen is six years younger, and the new ones are a few years older than me. One is quiet, Eileen, and the other talks as much or more than I do, yep, Sue. Both are sweeties and they play guitar and write songs and poetry like me. Gen is an artist (quiet like Eileen), but not quite into the Open Mic as much as the other too, so we all will balance each other out. Tomorrow hubby and I are going out to dinner and meeting them afterwards to go dancing, yeah! I am excited, you know I love to dance... They also wanted to throw one back with me in honor of Anelisa's 23rd birthday...

Well it is late my time, and I still have to go put the ole feet up and unwind before I can even begin to try and sleep, so I hope you all are doing well and I am just going to say one word...

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, when life is good, it really rocks! (Okay I said seven)

"Just to settle all the rumors...yes I did!!"

Can you imagine to a mother's horror her son had this posted up on his myspace.com account. What was he about to tell her? Can you imagine the worry going through her mind what she was about to find out...and what he was sharing with the WORLD!

He is 21 1/2 years old (Mom cannot help celebrating this 1/2 thing, milestones), more like five sometimes, and goes by the name Shark Attack(because his friends teased him in school about his nose that is just like his mother's, but he turned it around and made it his own joke). The mother is a respectable well known...well no one famous...she just worked hard most of her children's lives to raise them in a respectable manner, and to live respectable lives...NO NOT REALLY...well, kind of...I want him to enjoy life while he is getting his college education!

Yep that is my son...and here is what followed on his little rant...and I cannot get him to come here and blog, so he sends me stuff like this...you may say he sounds a bit like 'the apple does not fall far...'

ITS FUNNY THAT YOU OPENED this because in the next seven days you will:
* get engaged
* have someone fall in love with you
* find money you've been missing
* your luck will change for the better in all areas... love, happiness, job, money,


BUT...first you will have to repost this with 1 of these titles:

*Were having twins!!!"
" Were having a baby"
" Were having baby number #2"
" I Kissed A Girl And I Like IT"
"I GOT ARRESTED"
"Just to settle all the rumors...yes I did!!"
"I'm getting married!"
"My dad got the job!.. I'm moving to Japan!"
"Guess who i kissed last night!"
"I guess it was never meant to be"
"I'm gonna be a daddy!"
"I'm gonna be a mommy!"
"I'm moving!!!
"I miss her"
"I'm moving out of state!"
"I got married last night!!!"
"i got my nipples pierced!!"PICS =]
BEWARE IF U DONT U WILL HAVE BAD LUck FOR EVER

Now, I throw this back out there at my blog friends...My title is "I miss her"...

...and the reason why (no, 'Oh I am sorries') Sunday March 1st is Anelisa Diane Dillion's 23rd birthday, and I go out every year and toss back a drink for her memory. I will be in Philly going to museums, she loved art, looking for stray cats to toss (bread or food silly) food to, she loved her cats (and I was allergic, but dealt with it)... If you happen to have some moment where you think of me, do not...think of all those babies out there that are born every year with birth defects, develope cancer, or any other problematic chronic illness and all the parents that are going through hell, and go hug your children, hubby, or friends...hugs and love work...no words needed here...I am loved, but hugs accepted!...Cheers! (no I did not start early silly!)

I love my son, he is so in tune with his mother! My real laughing started with his phone call last night while we both were watching this movie called 'Pineapple Express'...remember 'Reefer Madness', well its not the same, but similar...huh? Oh, and play along here...

Visions Board #11- Ooops don't forget to laugh...

One of the lessons of my doing a vision board is to try and move on in life. Right now my newest chapter was on 'Open the Valve' meaning keep the positive coming in and going out, and things will start to happen...

I have made a few career changes over the past few years due to stress, and lack of 'laughter' in my life. You might say that I have been somewhat of the blog clown around here in my silliness, but really I have had to fight to stay in the game. Depression hurts your game and focus in the work place and home life a great deal...

My client's daughter passed away last February from heart disease like my daughter, and after eight years of moving forward I had some set backs and was hit pretty hard. My therapists, yes many people go to them, and it does not mean we are 'crazy', just that we realize a need for some extra help now and then. He said this blogging thing would help with my writing, and also as an outlet for what ails me. I take things hard, so I have hidden behind my laughter, but really my feelings get hurt very easily. Going through menopause has also opened the flood gate, but meeting everyone and getting nice notes from all of you have been great since I started in October. Debra's heart necklace was the bomb, and many of you email me often outside of this, and I love reading them...

Recently I have had to come to a realization that some bloggers out there take what you might represent literally, and I am just too nice to play mean games with them. This girl (me) should have been straight forward in saying 'no thanks' to their un-asked for advise over time through emails and phone calls, and I had made it clear 'I thought' by saying I was just doing this for fun and my career path changed. I never said I was Gorden Ramsey, or a golden chef...I am good at what I do, but not a photographer, so my pics are not so great...decided the economy was eating my cafe alive, and threw in the towel...a home chef cooks just like ordinary folks...

Okay be patient with me I am working up to the 'laughter' part...I am just a home grown southern girl who did work with high end chefs in high end restaurants, and was respected in that field a long time ago, and would be welcome back anytime...I try and be honest, trustworthy, and never brag or boast, I usually consider everyone a friend unless you say otherwise, I admit I am ADD, forget about spell check, am blind in one eye now, completely, so I miss things, and was smart enough to get out while I was in my prime...so bloggers out there that like to point out imperfections in ones abilities...look at your own accomplishments and just hanging out with talent is not talent, and really...come on...the joke is on you for being an ass first, and ass'king questions later...

I decided life is too short to worry about what people think, and did I let you get to me for about thirty minutes, kind of longer...I do not need to prove myself to anyone...like me or not...I am me...

As my dad would have said 'Joke-Joke' (that means trying to be funny, but maybe did not succeed)

He also said 'Akins never give up, they just give out once in a while', and I am doing my best daddy!

Dropped 'Followers' Glitch

I have seen this email and blog today in many places, so if you think people have 'quite' you (Broke Back Mountain referrence)...then think twice, cause we luv u's honey!












5 Star Foodie sent this to me, so I thought I would post it to help for those out there who did not have a clue as why your numbers dropped off...

Several of my foodie friends contacted me today, saying that I no longer follow their blog. I also noticed quite a few followers have been dropped from my blog as well. It is a glitch in Blogger due to their releasing a new feature. They, without users permission, changed the users from “Public” to “Anonymous”. The “Follow Blog” widget only lists the users that are Public therefore counts of followers have dropped.

Here’s how to fix your own subscriptions. In Dashboard find a button ‘Manage’, click on that and then change any of your subscriptions that say “Anonymous” back to “Public”. Blogger will NOT fix this for you automatically so you have to do it yourselves.

I hope you will find this information useful!

Would you rather...

'Would you rather...' is something I though up last night as another fun game to play since no one responded to the last one very well...here goes...no 'depends' only one or the other...giggling allowed

Would you rather...

Fall into a pit of roaches or spiders? roaches, I hate spiders, and you can tell when you kill a roach *crunch*

Be stranded on a deserted Island with five hundred pounds of soy nuts or cases of a good wine?
Wine, cause if I catch a crab I will be able to have a feast

Be stranded on that deserted Island with a five year old or a 500 year old? 500 year old stores of course!

Have to run from an avalanche or erupting volcano? avalanche, and I meant snow, because I would be preserved for science and I am a different kind of human species...

Hop on a motorcycle for a get away or into an old clunker car? motorcycle

Be kissed by Micheal Jackson or Charles Manson? Micheal Jackson, at least he takes a shower

Grab a gun or a knife to defend your self from aliens that may or may not die from either? gun

Walk out of a horrible hair salon with an old hair do from the fifties or the eighties, both lots of hair spray? eighties, cause I did look good then :)

Beg on the streets for money to buy something to eat or eat from garbage cans? I am good with stores, so begging

Spend your life in prison with a really ugly and rough looking inmate that has not been with anyone sexually for a long time or face a lioness in the wilds of Africa? ugly inmate, I can defend myself

Go with out any shoes for a month or naked for a day walking to your job? Naked, no problems with inhibitions here :)

Please if anyone can think of anymore post this on your site and add to it...I had fun thinking this stuff up in my 'free time', lol -E

Our Inner Goddess

Sometimes I just feel like dancing... I saw this picture and thought of all of you out there that need to drop what you are doing and lets all grab hands and begin to dance...

You tell me what songs or music we are listening too right now...

Me Bruce Springsteen upstairs in the office...downstairs while cooking I listen to Comcast Adult Alternative on cable, and very loudly...

Dance sisters, and brothers just dance...

Attitude & Longitude

When I was younger and read all those Jane Austin, Victoria Holt, and many other books about traveling to far away places...I saw myself teaching ESL in another country, falling in love with a Spanish Flamenco dancer in Spain...well, I did not think I would end up in New Jersey, and my hubby cannot keep a beat for the life of me! Hell I thought this was the land of gangsters to be honest, and I do hang out with a guy named Vito...

While longitudes may change, attitudes must remain the same!














When I chose this picture for my 'Vision Board' I had printed it out as an umbrella that symbolized taking cover from hard rain, but then I thought about it and realized it would be just as good to use as a boat. When it rains as we know, many times it floods.

I have had so many challenges through out my life, and sometimes feel like "Why me" all the time. I guess for some reason they become great life lessons, and we have to roll with the punches, or back down in a corner right? That will not work for me, I would get to bored in the corner, or use the time to relax and think of my next project.

Most of you know that I run an Open Mic- Cultural Art Expression that I created and organize each week locally in Jersey. Well it has been a challenge and many times I have felt like what in the world do I need this stress for, but I keep plugging away and finally have built up quite a group of performers and new friends. I got an email from the owner of the coffee house that we meet at and they had to shut one of our meeting places down. Downer right (pun time)!

I almost let it ruin my evening, but with the support of my new performer friends I began to get the brain jump started and came up with some ideas and an old meeting place just in case the other one closes due to the economy.

Waters rise and then they go back down...so, keep your umbrellas and wellies handy!

Cast Iron Tempo- Poetry Chapbook

This is #9 on my Vision Board- My plans have always been to publish a poetry chapbook; which is a small 50 poetry pocket reader. You have read a sample of one poem, but here is one that I do with a 'funny' Texas accent...

CAST IRON TEMPO©

I woke up this morning

and realized …

I can get heated up

like a- B I G B O W L

of slowwwww cooked

thick and rich

tasty- red beans

topped off with

crunchy- small cut onions

fragrant- chopped cilantro

hot, spicy- freaking’ jalapeño

but I hope these words do not send you running to the medicine cabinet
and reach for the tums, before you have…

a fresh piece of my

hot and buttery- Cornbread

sliced right out of my

Cast Iron Tempo

© E, 6/2008


ON FIRE

Four in the morning
Risen to the rooster
Coffee and biscuits on the stove
This Texas poet ready to hit my 'New' Jersey roads
Mountains and kitchens to rise up with my burning desires
Work and rant until this freaky chef puts out the fires

- E, 2008 ©

Q & A Time Again ~ Oh Yes!

I 'borrowed' this from In A Nutshell and thought it would be fun!

Q & A Meme

1. Where is your significant other? Straightening up, we just cleaned out storage areas around the house, his sister is coming next Saturday (glad she can get him motivated *snicker*)

2. Your favorite thing? too many, but I think you can figure out two of the things

3. Your dream last night? I have been sleeping so good since I started my new healthy lifestyle...I do not remember!

4. Your goal? Now, to go make some over due and promised 'Behind The Wheel Chef' wraps

5. Your hobby? poetry, artsy fartsy stuff, blogging, reading


6. Where do you want to be in 6 years? On my new Harley and in orange leather pants, with a famous album of poetry and music playing loudly as I cruise summer roads

7. Where were you last night? feet up on my sweeties legs getting a foot rub while we watched 'Bottle Shock' a great movie about wine (right up my sweeties wine lovin' alley)

8. What you're not? Materialistic or Snobby

9. One of your wish list items? Be able to swim 50 laps in a new sexy bathing suit

10. Your pet? myself


11. Missing someone? Yes, lots and lots

12. Your car? Kia Blue Van I bought for my catering ~ Dream car none I am just happy to have one with Triple AAA and do not have to push start it down a hill like when I was younger :)

13. Something you're not wearing? Bra, and I never usually go without, but its warm today and I feel free ~ to do what I want ~ any old time (lyrics to a song, anyone remember it?)

14. Love someone? Yes, cannot say I hate anyone at all either, not in me

15. When is the last time you laughed? You will never catch me not unless I am crying due to PMS crap!


16. Last time you cried? this week, PMS

17. Favorite past time? seems like a repetitive question here, but hanging with my sweetie, son or friends...

18. Are you a hater or a lover? I hate clutter, and I love good food...

19. Any vices? Scotch & a good cigar, but I am doing okay with minimal amounts these days...

20. Favorite meme other than Sunday Stealing? sharing laughter with you other bloggers and memories...

Creative Dreams- Vision Board #8

This was a hard one to name. Creative is not a word many feel they have in them. Maintaining Ideas was another option. I believe we are ALL creative. Maybe some do not have the 'Light Bulb' go off when it happens like the 'Right' brainers, but 'Left' brain'ers do have it in them. I have seen it, and it takes them longer, because they have to add that 'logic' factor into exactly what will transpire...

Creativity comes and goes. I remember the time of having children and through out fourteen years of it I had to 'play' in my creative world from time to time, but I never made anything seriously worthy of recognition. All those soap dishes and candles I gave at Christmas time? Most of them never were seen when I would go for a visit, but I did not stop dreaming up things to do. Be an example for the children...I have seen it in my own son today...so they do watch.

The one most outstanding thing I hung onto...my writing. Once in a while I would get on my future hubby's computer, because I could not afford one being a single mom, and I would start a story from a dream I had the night before. Now and then the computer would crash and all would be lost. Sure we backed things up, but you cannot always tell the moment 'crashing' was going to hit.

After years of raising the kids, working twelve hour days (kids, salon, catering, home) I finally sat down last year and started writing again. My time had come. Early retirement (not as many hours in the week) from my career, kids gone, one on their own now, hubby travels almost weekly, and a new state, and most of my friends live in Texas or MO. I met a wonderful girl named Genifer last year who also is an artist (another dream I always had). Open Mic is going great, so I am surrounded by creative people, and of course here, blogsphere.

Now I write, write, write...ahhhhh, blissful. Not perfect, but blissful!

NOTE: Some ask how I do it, where does my energy come from...well, I learned a long time ago to never sit still and the phrase might be called 'couch potato' or lazy... maybe even non-productive, and if you have ADD (I do not like to label) then your mind is going a mile a minute so don't waist that, because eventually you will get something right...

Bed of Angels- Poetry & Prose

An 'Angel' delivery arrived this afternoon via the post and my hubby who lives to check the mail box, brought it up to me and I could tell what it was by the crinkling noise it made as he walked up the stairs, and then I ripped it open, boy did she tape that good! Evidently my friend Gen says that must be a 'male' thing (puns, sorry)...

After reading today's My Mommy Said post about hers arriving yesterday, and my excitement for her was intense, and then I got one too...better than winning the lotto, well I do not buy tickets so of course I will not ever win that one, but a friendship lotto is the best any whooooo!

Debra @ Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History, pays close attention to detail, because Mommy's booty was elaborate and pretty, but I am not into pink...mine had oranges and blues...how cool is it to have someone really listen to what we say on this blogsphere...














I love it Debra, I absolutely love it! Here is where I wore it tonight while I was on top of my game with my poetry at the South Jersey Open Mic...inspired by my blogsphere pals (every darn one of you YES) I wrote this on the way there, and it got rave reviews, so here is to you big caring heart 'Angels' out there... (PS I wear a size 8" bracelet and a long necklace...the big bone type since I was born)

Bed of Angels

Last night I dreamt about you, and
a smoke filled room of strangers
We all shared a hot pot full of laughter
Old things they seemed were turning new

Blood is thicker than waters running deep
Friendships become the bridges we cross

Long dusty roads one has traveled
thin painted and fast memory lanes
Sons and mounds of sorrow
sent us packing up Mid-west paths

Once I drove through Ohio;
if I had known I was welcome
would have stopped for the night...

Gazed at September mountains, rivers and grey skies
Washington rains dried my eyes
Now we scatter love on North winds
Wipe feet on snowy winter grass
Thoughts will always be faced to the South

The day is coming...trials and stray bullets
Will knock us off this ledge
Where a bed of Angels await
spiraling down through orange and pink mist
sheets of soft memories we rest

Until then remember the mommies
All the teachers and preachers
Sweet faces of their children, and
the roads where angels still tread

Last night I dreamt about you
Placing a heart about my head
We then walked along rivers of reflection
Hand in hand...no words ever needed to be said...

E Stelling, 2/13/09

Betty Davis Eyes

I am a Bette -- "I must be strong"

Bette's are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.














How to Get Along with Me

Stand up for yourself... and me.
Be confident, strong, and direct.
Don't gossip about me or betray my trust. -This is a biggy & a No-No to me!
Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side. -You can tell me anything, and I am a good secret keeper...because I also have been through a lot, so I am a genuine listener and give hugs when needed :)


Give me space to be alone.
Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me. -I am a humble perfectionist, lol
I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack. -When I am upset I let you know it in a soft spoken voice and apologize before and afterward, lol
When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.

My hubby will say 'Oh Yeah' to the last one, but no one ever sees me in this mode...I stay up beat and happy in public!

What I Like About Being a Bette

* * being independent and self-reliant
* * being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
* * being courageous, straightforward, and honest
* * getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
* * supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
* * upholding just causes -All true!

What's Hard About Being a Bette

* * overwhelming people; scaring them away when I don't intend to -My southern ways...
* * being restless and impatient with others' incompetence -No, I just do it myself...
* * sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
* * never forgetting injuries or injustices -I have learned to get in their face to begin with and then let it go...forgivness
* * putting too much pressure on myself -Geminis are perfectionist!
* * getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right
-No, I just do not sleep well, lol

Bettes as Children Often

* * are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit -I am here...
* * are sometimes loners -Ask me how many trips to Europe I took...Alone!
* * seize control so they won't be controlled -My mom would have told you this!
* * figure out others' weaknesses -I gave that up years ago! Seems militant...
* * attack verbally or physically when provoked -People left me alone in High School, lol
* * take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings -Yes, my father was an alcoholic, and mom mentally ill

Bettes as Parents

* * are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted -A friend for life!
* * are sometimes overprotective -I have had to learn to let my son make his own mistakes
* * can be demanding, controlling, and rigid -Nope, I am a gentle nudger, lol

So far most of it is right, but I did grow up watching my surroundings to figure out how 'to do it the right way' by watching others make mistakes, since I did not have parents to show me and support me through my own. Also, I tend to back down to keep the peace...so, I am a fighter in the good sense, if there is a good cause...

I used to hate being the dark red head girl in the middle of all the blonde's, but then realized it just meant I stand out in a quirky sort of way, lol

Passion

'Tango' in Ink, by Genifer Kupisioski


















Do you have a passion for music and dance? Well, I do and always have. Many years ago I would go out to watch bands, go dancing, and never needed alcohol to get me off the chair and on the floor...Passion should have been on my 'Vision Board', but it has just been dormant...

I woman, Suzy that lives around the corner from me who plays guitar and sings had come to my open mic last week when I did not attend. We have been emailing each other since, and she invited me to an Open Mic for musicians at a local establishment, Alchemist & Barrister in Princeton, NJ. I decided to go, and ran a few errands as an excuse to put my wheels on the road. They do not start till 10 PM on Wednesdays when most of us are on the sofa relaxing or in bed, but I said "What the hell do I have to do early Thursday...not a darn thing"!

Turns out a chef friend, Rich was there. I had not idea he even had a life outside of his Tre Piani kitchen, lol, he works for my condo (and chef, Jim Weaver, owner Tre Piani) landlord and where I store my food and supplies for catering when needed...it was also his birthday! He is a multi talented guy, because he play guitar, harmonica, and the accordian!

This tall and lanky handsome blonde man took my breath away with his original songs and more by Dylan and normally I am not crazy (no frowns) about The Rolling Stones, but he swayed me!

This is Suzy and Raj...She sings her own music and if you can believe it...admits that she talks more than me! We hit it off right away, so I think this Gemini and her Capricorn side can make a friendship work...she lives right around the corner and works at the Princeton Library...

Only one beer later I was on the floor dancing to most of their stuff and I got Rich to sing something I knew the words to so I could have a few minutes of fame. Suzy supplied us with rhythm shakers and that was all she wrote...I might have lost a few pounds do you think?

Art Rocks!

Last night and for the past couple of months we have had a wonderful turn out in my 'Cultural Art Expression- Open Mic' at the coffee houses and about town. I was 'On' last night in my look, colors (remember color me beautiful, I am an Autumn), and emcee duties...called the young ones 'fresh meat' and was saucy!

Check out the 'photos' and updates that were taken...I have an extra 'skip' in my step this morning...the eating is going good and I have dropped 7 pounds this past two weeks...

The Law of Attraction is working folks!

I hope that you guys out there go and support a local Open Mic in your area...it encourages the artist of our youth through writing, poetry, music, and performance art!

Charity- Vision Board #5

Do you packed up used items around the house and leave at the drop box? Can you find your self in spite of the annoying bell ringing at Christmas time able to drop those coins into that bucket? I bet when the girl scouts ring your door bell you do not turn away? How much of that money really goes to help or charity? Most of it goes onto our waist, and have you heard that they are cutting back the amount in the box, but the price will stay the same?

Onto the real issue at hand...What is Charity? Definitions are varied with most words, and here is what is found under this category...

-a foundation created to promote the public good (not for assistance to any particular individuals)
-a kindly and lenient attitude toward people
-an activity or gift that benefits the public at large

We can clearly see that Charity is not just limited to giving away material things that we can touch, but the giving of ourselves can be considered a just cause...

When we give a part of ourselves we find a part of our self. First in honesty, and then self discovery as things start to fall into place. This has become important to me because I want to one day raise money to support other charities for heart related issues that affected me through my daughter's illness.

This is the first 'want' on my vision board that reflects an actual material and mental focus for me. I decided to put these things closer to the bottom because I am finding I desire material possessions less and less as I get older.

'HeartAppeal' will develop as it is meant to play out in the future...

LawOfAttractionUpdate: The twin friends from my childhood that I mention in the past two posts have contacted me and apologized for not being there in the way we think friends should, and I honestly told them that if we were to continue...Honestly will only be accepted, even if it is something I might not want to hear, I can handle it.

Law Of Attraction- Vision Board #4

What is Law Of Attraction?

A more modern consensus among 'New Thought' thinkers is that the Law of Attraction says people's thoughts (both conscious and unconscious) dictate the reality of their lives, whether or not they're aware of it. Essentially "if you really want something and truly believe it's possible, you'll get it", but putting a lot of attention and thought onto something you don't want means you'll probably get that too.

For the past eight months or so my friend Gen and I have been going through a workbook and focusing on cleaning out our 'life closet' of the negative and overly needy things that we for some reason hold on to when we know they are not beneficial to achieving a happier and higher plain of living. Do not get me wrong, we have family and work environments that are and might always be negative, and so we just learn how to leave it at the door when we get home.

Lurking though...in our 'life closet' are those things that we have not left at the door and because we let them they have our cell and home numbers, or just happen to know where our favorite beverage stations are all around town.

As we move to create a more positive attraction of circumstances, hobbies, and friendships we will see coincidences pop up from time to time, and I just happen to have a biggy friend situation pop up this past week.

The friends near and dear to me in the past eight years have remained. Donna Kay and Gen my two sister girlfriends have helped me through a great deal, but there are a few people who I have known since early childhood that seem to pop in and out of my life so often that I began to except that pattern, but felt we were close because of the amount of years. After careful thinking I have decided to let them know that I choose not to except their repeated pattern of having me around when they feel the need, and that after careful thinking I realize that we really had nothing in common, and just had mutually used each other to bide our time over the years.

Boy does the truth seem to dodge reality, but when it feels right then it probably is the right thing to do. We waste so much of our attention and time on those things that we should realize are taking energy that could be put into something else...like my next blog topic 'Charity'...

Kid Power- Vision Board #3

Empowerment- This is the third part of my vision board. Inspired by my son, but mostly because I have seen many of my own generation of family and friends children suffer greatly from being latch key kids to the extreme...and from our own childhood 'ghosts' we struggled to maintain healthy lifestyles even after our children came into our life. Seems like future generation will have an even greater impact by being the 'gi-me' kids that are now coming up in the world.

When I had my children at the age of twenty five I knew that I had to put a hold on my own desires in life and that Ane and Aaron were more important. I still worked hard to help keep food and clothes for all of us, but they were always right there with me every step of the way. By no means am I saying I was perfect, but knowing that keeping up a constant energy of saying 'No' when I meant no could never be compromised. This cowgirl stuck to her guns...well, so to speak...

Also being able to give my children the option of telling me everything without getting upset helps me along the way. Sometimes we do not want to hear every detail because it is painful. Reminding us that we too made mistakes, and still do from time to time *:)*...

Our spiritual walk should teach us that we learn by example...and so do our children or for those of you that do not have children, well kids do watch you from afar. Change and improvement benefit us, but our children...Change benefits them too. Helps ease them into their own change one day...

VISION BOARD- My friend Gen and I talked yesterday about how this is designed for a person to paste things they see themselves doing for want now. If you vision it, then you will have it. I went a little more on the lines of things are important to have around for the rest of my life. I have already had houses, cars, vacations, top of the line material possessions and now realize I never felt comfortable in 'that' lifestyle. I like things simple, but a motorcycle would be a little over the top...Focus is my game...

Vision Board #2- Relationship

October 11th, 1997 I asked my friend Robert if he wanted to go to a wedding with me in Boston. He was working in New Hampshire at the time, and said he was only an hour away.

Two years prior to that he came in my salon for a hair cut as a walk in...walk in's...2 out of six actually keep coming back...I guess he decided there was something about this quirky red head that he liked.

We would run into each other out at events, and he always was going to do the coolest things after getting his hair done, and I liked him as a person.

Having those good friendly qualities lead me to think that he would be fun to hang with, and that turned out to be a good instinct. After the wedding was over he wanted to show me P-Town, and Martha's Vineyard. We went to dinner at Le'toile, but previously had gone to another upscale place in Boston, Hamerly's Bistro. He introduced me to fine wine and dining, and how a real gentleman treats a woman. That was all she wrote...we have been together since...

This view is out of the room in the Martha Vineyards hotel and reminds me of the storms that we have weathered through over the coarse of twelve years...teenagers...deaths...tears...lost friendships...anger...misgivings...forgotten birthday cards...no thank yous for all the fabulous meals I have cooked...growing bellies...laughter...

I plan on making him proud by moving forward and being a better person and friend for him, and that is why I am sure he fell in love with me to begin with...I am a strong and hardworking red head!

Ta Da...Vision Board!

I finally complete reading my book and finished my vision board...

Each section will be a positive moment and look at what I really want out of life...eleven areas to concentrate on for now...

'E'
Relationship
Kid Power
Charity
Law of Attraction
Writing
'Project Cast Iron Tempo'
Attitude
Style
Laughter
Travel





First we have to look at the root of our vision...our self! My goal is to continue working on a healthier, slimmer, and vibrant 'E'...like I remember being years and years ago...but without the baggage...

Like this? I kind of wanted my hair blowing back as if I was in a commercial, lol...the head is a little big, but hey, so is this chef's brain right now...full of energy and ideas for the days to come!









A 'Vision Board' is a realization of what you want your life to be...goals you set for yourself...try it and see if you too can stay focused on your future...

A Blast From The Past

This is going to seem more like a 'Journal' note than anything, but I have to say something. I realize that the past dozen blog entries have been about ME, but I am doing good. Change does not come easy. We go kicking and screaming...

(Cheryl is on the bottom, three from the right, and I noticed she always was in that spot in every school pic we had together...we had classes together till we graduated)

I got an email today from a my old school friend, Cheryl, her daughter, Kristina. I am not sure how I feel, but it is not her fault her mom and aunt (twins) decided I was too depressing to hang out with after Ane (daughter) died.

Reading her journal writings on her myspace page shows me she did suffer her own repercussions from her own childhood. Her mom was quite a party girl. One of my 'friend closet' cleaning things I would have done at some point in the past nine years. I lived other peoples lives to forget my own childhood growing up. Also was an enable'er...big time...

My heart goes out to her. When people have children and know they are not the greatest parents, why do they not do what I did and take responsibility for raising kids that will make better choices. Sure they will make mistakes, but at least down the road they look back and see that it is never to late to turn it all around.

On the positive, my friend from back then, Rhonda (roommate 78-82, college), we talk on a weekly basis now since I went to stay with her and Wes during my visit to my son in MO. She and I laugh at how silly we were during our 'off' period of the friendship, and say "What was it again we did to upset each other"? We laugh about how dumb we were during our 'not so good men' periods, and she realizes I took her home so many nights, and watched over her (she forgot). She reminded me that she was around when Ane died, and still plans on being around when we get too old to care anymore...

An Obsession

Yes, we all have secret obsessions...mine is watching a television show since I was a young girl that stirred my imagination wildly!

Doctor Who... There have been two different actors play him in the new series, and now I assume they have decided to once again change him...evidently when he is 'killed', well he is an alien right...he gets to regenerate into another season's character just like that right! There have been ten new Doctors over the course of this longest running Sci-Fi television show, and I missed the Christmas episode (to be continued, how I hate that word!) showing the whole story line of the 'switch'...

Why can't we regenerate and switch bodies, so we can find out what it is like to be you! LOL

Who would you want to regenerate into? Me, well (I know really hard decision)...Paul McCartney...when he was in his 30's...play piano, get paid well for it, and a loving relationship like I have now...then I would switch back to myself (before he becomes old and wrinkly, I am already getting there) and tell everyone that I had been there-done that, and liked my own life better...and then I would like to be a real Dr Who and travel the universe in that cute call box, the Tardis...maybe I will come back as the twelfth Doctor???

...if you see one of these pop up on the street watch out...the new Chef E may amerge...

The Inner Spa Treatment and a laugh...

First let me tell you this is the first time I visited a spa for your 'Innards', and it was an experience.

You drive up and it does not look like a fancy pants kind of place. No I had to walk around...call them to check again where it was...Oh, around the back... A typical snowy day here in Jersey. Beautiful flurries coming down, roads were fine, so no excuse not to go through with my spa treatment. Walking in they hand you a sheet to fill out asking you various health questions as you sip on some of their citrus water, and the place smells really nice. Once you complete your whole family history your spa adviser comes out and takes you to your room.

Removing my coat, hat, and sitting down in the folding chair that is way too small for any person to sit in, she begins asking me about my diet. Each spa adviser is a trained and certified nurse. We go over my, well, lets face it, crappy eating, sleeping and work habits over the past year. We talk about alternatives, since by the way certified in nutrition, but hey...we all fail at some point in one of our careers in life... We agree on a treatment plan, and I climb on the table to have her insert a... Okay this was my pain today, so I will spare the details...I feel squeaky clean now!

Now, it just hurts to laugh...Alexis over @ Running Away? I'll will help you pack posted a blog with one of the commercials from the Super Bowl; that was too funny...reminds me of why I do not let my hubby drive when we go somewhere...

Super Sunday Game Day

I want to know what all of you out there did on Super Bowl Sunday...

Me I am not ashamed to say I just yelled downstairs every now and then and said "Who is winning", and it is obvious who did...I caught up on a few Dr. Who episodes I had missed last season. Not sure it is even coming back on. Seems like every time a show comes on I like, it does not return.

A Movie recommendation-'The Education of Little Tree', Rated G, starring John Cromwell from 'Babe' the pig movie... Very moving story of a small look into mountain people of Tennessee, and how the grandparents get custody of their only grandchild when his parents are gone. The boy who plays Little Tree is so cute and well spoken with his 'mountain' accent, "Reckon that'll be fine". Great one for the whole family or just you when you feel like tuning out the rest of the world on a Sunday afternoon. I also say it pays to research the internet as well...

Movie Warning: After reading the true story of the author (Asa Carter, The Outlaw Josey Wales) and his ties as a spokesman for segregation, racism, hiding under pseudo names, and the fact that Oprah Winfrey pulled this book off of her book list, you may not want to watch it, but I feel it is just a movie...I might even read the book now...