I was really playing with this one last night. I Cannot sleep due to annoying coughing, so I have written four new poems...spun from memory and coconut discussions from Mrs. C.! I was playing with several versions of this, but wanted to see what you all think. Based on a form Debbie used, that other writers made suggestion on, I felt a mirrored imagery might work here...
Mrs. C., her flaky white hat memory poem will come soon...
Diabetical Tale
Important phenomenon defines itself
portent phenomenon pours itself
into aluminum and glass mixing bowls
creaming, eggs, sugar, flour and vanilla
as beaters scraped the sides
tap tap tap TAAAP!
metal on metal entrancing
all young eyes up and down
drawn in, laughter on soft peaks
into crusts, oil and floured pans
gently and quietly shoved into the oven
held houses constructed of cake and bread
cake and bread hold houses together
small hands lured by smells sweetness
pulled to lips, smiles give way
roller coaster youth ride of cakes, cookies and pies
blood sugar rising
‘to be fat or lean’ on a good witches watch
hesitate before cookbooks
and old wounds needing to be feed
remember what is remembered what is wanted
altered judgment on perilous spun sugar trails
happy ever after requires a road of diet, exercise, and restraint
diet, exercise and restraint can co-create a happy after taste
In the last version I left the sentences in italic doubled, but then decided to re-write them in a different way...
Funny, but while searching for imagery I read, a 3D movie is being created based on the Hansel & Gretel story...not sure what monstrous imagery they will use for this film...or is Tim Burton part of this project...will Johnny Depp play the witch...
3 comments:
Mrs. C. here.....
I too was up all night coughing.Where did we contract this virus? Did we somehow acquire this nastiness from blog to blog or on a strand of email?
You have given me insight in this poem. I have finally seen in my mother's kitchen, that she was holding our family together with her wonderful love of cooking.
"...held houses constructed of cake and bread
cake and bread hold houses together."
Things were not always what they seems, but our kitchen was true and a place of warmth and love.
And then....
blood sugar rising
‘to be fat or lean’ on a good witches watch."
This is my Mother speaking. I don't know how you did it. Your insight is astounding.
And finally....
My mother was surely feeding her old wounds... ("and old wounds needing to be feed.")
She never lost a child but she did lose a father and a sister.
Maybe that's what cooking and eating is all about. Staving off the wolf of a hungry memory on your "good witch watch".
Thank you for this, my dear.
I'm so sorry you've been sick and coughing and suffering! And in all of it, you're writing and exercising and cooking! Wow!
I loved this and how you worked in those italics lines, the repetition reversed and it was simply delightful! Hope you rub off on me! I haven't tried to re-do that alabaster thing yet. ha!
"perilous spun sugar trails" -- love that!
I hope they keep Tim Burton far from that movie -- I'm burnt out on Burton.
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