Tuesday, November 15, 2011

What Do You See...

...first thing in the morning?

Lately I am waking up around five o'clock in the morning. In the past I might lay there and eventually go back to sleep, but not since before Korea. The doctor told me to get up and not lay there. I simply would take a nap later in the day if time afforded the luxury.

I leave hubby to his dreams, but lately he is awake as well. My routine is to go downstairs, get on the internet; read, check Facebook, and do some writing. Then at some point hubby comes downstairs; we joke about being on Korea time, but really he has not felt well and we both know it will pan out for him. He cannot go on without sleep. If he does it will mean mountain dew's and falling asleep toward the end of work.

Not good either way. I on the other hand am making due with no caffeine, and am on my way to the gym again. Again? I have always enjoyed getting up before others and going for a swim. A routine I took on the past six years since we moved to New Jersey. I just back slide from time to time.

In this morning routine I am enjoying watching the sun come up. Out my dining room window is a burst of reds and gray, bouncing off cloudy skies this time of year. The trees have begun to lose all of their leaves, so it makes for a 'Headless Horseman' kind of scene. I love it. My own private creepy view in which I can add my own characters. Silly I know, but fun to use our imagination.

I also wake up to an email about my new website, Z-composition. Things have gotten behind, but Brooke is finally making progress. We are getting excited. I am aiming for the new launch date of January 1st. Full steam ahead.

What else is new? I have been thinking about an ex-husband lately. and wondering about his family. I kept up with them when the kids were young. I would stop in or call his grandmother in Texas. They have a ranch there and were always a joy to be around. He (the ex) had his problems, but the family made me feel loved.

I stumbled upon a website mentioning the family ranch. Their phone number was still the same (as the now deceased grandparents). Should I call? Me being me, I did. The father answered and we had pleasantries. Then I spoke with his mom, and it was as if we had never lost contact. She asked if I had heard the ex was deceased, I said yes, I had heard some small thing. I knew more than I let on, but felt it was rude to discuss him. There are still mixed feelings. But it was good to hear the ex's son was doing well. Unscathed from any abuse of his mom from the ex during his childhood.

Life goes own right? The sun comes up each day with brilliance. I wake up and get to witness the glory of it all. I miss Anelisa in all the autumn color, as this was her favorite time of year. The poetic side of it all just sits, waiting for me to put the words down onto paper...but I will not go there. Sometimes you just have to let sleeping dogs lie.

Peace to you all out there under the same sunrise. May you find the beauty of it all, even if it doesn't always make sense. Don't let things go unsaid. In your hearts at least. Do what you have to do to make peace with your world, and have no regrets. The higher power out there wants us to find peace. I know it.

(The author owned photo above was taken several years ago this time of the year. Pretty right? The Finger Lakes area to be exact- E. Stelling)


Anonymous said...

I love the beautiful self-reflective meandering of this post. Your own thoughts provide meaning and clarity to us as readers. I also am up at 5 am most mornings, although I did sleep in the past two mornings due to midnight power outages screwing up my alarm clock. Slept until 7 am (yikes!) and drove into work thinking, "Aw, who cares if I'm late?" and arrived only to find the everyone in the office out to breakfast because the power was out in the office! Sometimes the stars all line up in your favor. That is grace.

Pearl said...

Lovely that could and would make that contact. Good to hear that the old connect could be as firm as ever.

The rule of thumb is one day adaption for each hour difference in time zone but being a slow-mover, for me goes even at a cellular level -- it took me twice as long.

Anonymous said...

I see a broad horizon of Sea when I get up in the morning. It is rather sensual.
I have expelled caffeine from my life a few times, but it always lures me back.