Monday, December 19, 2011

Happy Holiday Everyone!

Last year my Christmas was a warm holiday, because I was in Texas with my sister and my son's family. As well as in St. Louis with my son where it had not snowed yet.

The year before and before that we have had snow up here in the north east. No sign of it as of yet this year. It was cold on Saturday, dreary too, but yesterday it was gorgeous. Looks cold outside this morning, but who knows.

This photo is of hubby's youngest brothers back yard before you hit the beach. Nice huh. Yes, a beautiful view from the back window.

I am not ready for Christmas, are you? I have some internet shopping to do, but other than that we do not make a big deal, just a big meal with his big family. I am just not ready like every year for all the fuss period. This holiday has become so commercial, even more so than when I was young.

Technically it's a religious celebration. Something I cannot get into anymore. I am spiritual and have my own beliefs, but I miss my daughter too much. I have had the hardest time dealing with her lately. I have been busy with work, but lots of things on my mind.

Mainly because my son broke it off with his girlfriend in Korea, two weeks before Christmas while they are still over there. There is a lot going on and I realized this weekend I do not handle loss very well. Even simple loss as this. I grew to adore love his girlfriend and felt they were a good match for each other.

Maybe he is more of a mess than I ever realized. He will be returning in February and we will see what happens. No job or place to live now. They were going to live together and already had a house.

I am a planner and hate not knowing what is around the corner. It drives me batty when people take too long to make up their mind. Like the weather, not knowing what tomorrow brings doesn't make me feel so easy. I like to think I am flexible, because raising a daughter with an illness makes you flexible. But too many changes have taken place in my life the past eleven years and I am ready for a steady stream of knowing.

I like my martini's stirred, not shaken...

However! Hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday season...Peace to you all.


Jim K. said...

been watching comedies
for existential season

might be a no-snow xmas...
a lot is bad but a little
brightens things

Pearl said...

I can never comprehend breaking up with someone.

I'm a planner as much as possible; it allows the space for spontaneity.

happy holidays.