third grade elementary school play grounds
chicken patties, pigtails, and string bean populated poverty, full
of mean kids picking on red headed freckle faced skinny girls,
and boys wearing hand me down elastic waist jeans.
cheap M.E Moses running shoes with rubber sole noise,
letting everyone know they were coming to a screeching halt;
as they turned the corner and darted into the bathroom for escape.
smelling of poverty, cigarettes and booze- pockets full of roach legs and wings the
bullies living off the crumbs of the weak, king of the hill
attitudes whose own home life was full of thrashing beyond belief.
Spring of nineteen sixty eight a girl walked the halls, a
phenomenon who walked and punched like the boys, and
was to be reckoned with by her peers and the teachers.
pretty girls followed her across pavement to slam tether balls
so hard the neighborhood echoed with sounds of fist.
nothing stopped her; until the new girl showed up in class.
becoming more of a leader, weak kneed with a simple assignment to
guide and teach the ropes of policy and hallway path shortcuts.
the two were inseparable running across the cafeteria, out the double doors
for after lunch recess, and freedom to playfully chase down boys.
taking turns holding them down, especially one whose blue eyes and blond
hair stained their memories, maybe his; confusion held back true feelings as each
left cute boys with wet cheeks, smiles, and a longing for more.
E Stelling, 2010
Revisions:
Confession of a Resurrected Memory
third grade elementary school play grounds
chicken patties, pigtails, string bean populated poverty, full
of mean kids picking on red headed freckle faced skinny girls
boys in hand me down elastic waist jeans
cheap M.E Moses running shoes with rubber sole noise
coming to a screeching halt; turning corners, escape- darting into bathrooms
smelling of poverty, cigarettes and booze
pockets full of roach legs and wings.
bullies living off crumbs of the weak, king of the hill attitudes
home life full of thrashing beyond belief
Spring of nineteen sixty eight walking school halls
phenomenons who walk and punch like boys
reckoned with by peers; teachers
pretty girls follow her across pavement; slamming tether balls
neighborhood echos with sounds of fists
nothing stopped her; until a new girl shows up in class.
becoming more of a leader with an assignment to guide
teach ropes of policy; hallway paths, and smelly locker room rules
running across cafeteria mayhem
outside for after lunch recess freedom
playfully chasing down boys
leaving them with wet cheeks, smiles, and longing for more
that girl lost in nineteen sixty nine; parents moving her out of poverty
into a better life, so they thought
popularity left behind; opportunity to be an angel in Christmas plays
only the most talented are asked to participate
friends all but a faint memory in a harsher life, a snooty suburb
songs, her, Debra wrote on backyard swings
still echoes on passing breeze
touch of high five slapping; arms in the wings
poverty will always be-
a red headed freckle face girls saving grace...
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3 comments:
you have a terrific start on this one!!
if i was revising, i'd be looking for words that were repeated and really push it into more of a punch punch feel. like less concrete sentence structure and more jumping from one awesome word to the next :)
you are on fire lately!
Playgrounds are cruel little microcosms that leave deep invisible wounds on kids. I'm so scarred up from my childhood, but those little tragedies didn't break me. I'm who I am for surviving them. You're an excellent poet, E!
R
definitely getting closer! i think where you start slipping into more telling than showing is the second use of the word poverty. keep working on it! you might want to let it sit for a while then read it out loud :)
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