...da da da da da...and I'm goanna walk all over you...da da da da da...
Remember that song...well...I went to the grocery store and as I stepped around the car...what other than a pair of perfectly good 'high' heel boots were laying like someone had just stepped right out of them...it is freakin twenty something degrees in this town and somebody is running around with out there shoes...or would it be someones meal tonight...my imagination is going wild...so here goes...
These Shoes Were Made For Walking
One cold December night a lady of the evening was traveling south on Grand, but the shoes she choose to wear tonight...her sleek black zip up boots that made her out fit hotter than a pepper sprout (okay Johnny Cash)...they were just not cutting the mustard...her toes were all cramped up, and started to feel the bite of the cold pavement she had walked for the past five hours with no business in sight...well, Lady (will call her) decided to put on the fluffy house shoes with the small heels that were lined with cheap fluffy fleece she had picked up at the local 'John's while his wife was not home' closet...she could not resist the cute dalmation design across the top...who gives a hoot she thought..."they ain't looking down there anyway" she said to herself. Placing the soft worn pleather boots into her plastic Shoppers Paradise sack, she went on her way and headed up towards the wealthier side of town with the Basil Thai restaurant. There was a great alley that she could step into to cut down the wind chill on her worn panty hose covered legs.
As she traveled the last few blocks towards Conneticut street, she never realized that her load had lightened when she cut across the local Shopeprs Paradise lot the boots bit the dust. She did not know about the cracked heel that helped put a hole in that bag. Not at least until she was already miles from where she had started. "Damn girl", she said to her friend that was waiting in the alley...Lady continued "I love them shoes, and so did many of my clients". Lady remembered how she had borrowed them from her sister, and how her sister had passed away last summer. Those boots helped her remember how kind her sister was. Sister had not kicked her out for good when she caught her stealing, or I mean borrowing from her when she had cash flow problems.
Lady did not realize that these beloved boots lay in a parking lot only a few blocks from where she was...but not for long...Crazy Legs (his street name) was a local vagrant that everybody knew and would help out now and then. He lived around back of Shoppers Paradise in the dumpster; when he was not staying at a friends now and then. He like living out in the wilds of the city. The challenges of earning a better living from donations motivated him to be on his best behavior to all he meets. The only thing that really is a problem for him are his legs and feet. Crazy Legs has very wobbly legs and feet that go back and forth so he looks like he is just plum crazy. He has gone to many doctors and they all say the same thing that it is in his head. Nothing is wrong with his legs or feet. Crazy has tried walkers, crutches, canes, and you name it to keep his stride on the straight and narrow...but tonight his luck was about to change.
The dumpster out back of Shoppers Paradise was always full of cardboard, and broken down boxes, so he knew no matter what time he decided to hit the hay, he could count on 'Old Green'. Since they decided to add recycling bins along side trash dumpsters his life has been so much easier, and showering is not as much of an issue these days. Tonight he would stay out later and see if he could make a few extra bucks to buy himself some new shoes and maybe a little left over to buy his friends some extra half pints for the holidays. One problem is...he had a fetish for women's shoes. He already had a hard enough time explaining this to the thrift store workers to whom were his friends. He would explain that he had a girlfriend he would see every now and then. They still did not understand why he would buy size elevens...what kind of amazon woman was Crazy Legs going out with?
As Crazy Legs wobbled his way around the store and across the parking lot he saw a mirage...could it be...a pair of perfectly good black shiney boots...man he began to run as fast as a wobbler could...he had to get there before some crazy patron ran over him and that beautiful sight! He fell to the ground and scooped them up...kissing them and thanking the shoe fairy out there somewhere...now he would not have to embarrass himself down at the thrift. He decided that he would wobble back to the dumpster and sit up his milk crate and try them on. He slowly unzipped them...inch by inch putting them on, and they fit. "I would like to meet the person who threw these babies out" he thought to himself. He decided to stand up and see if he could walk...in such high heels. Never in his life had he felt so graceful as he start moving one foot in front of the other...it was a miracle!
Crazy Legs was walking perfectly straight forward, no wobble of the legs, no wobble of the feet...he even felt he could just wear these everywhere, and suddenly did not care that his friends would laugh at the sight of him in these black beauties. No, he decided it was time to let the world know of his fetish, and began to walk around the front of Shoppers Paradise...as he stepped off the curb...*snap* one of the heels broke right off; then he feel face first into a passing car. At once the car stopped, and out of the passenger side stepped 'Lady' of the evening. She bent down to help Crazy Legs up and saw his poor bleeding nose, and announced he needed to come home with her, and she would help clean him up. Never noticing the black boots he was wearing, or the broken heel in his hand, she just helped him into her friends car and off they went...
Lady and Crazy still to this day laugh about the whole story, and about how they fell in love. So much that she takes him shopping for shoes...hey who doesn't like sharing clothes and shoes with friends. Now and then they stop by Shoppers Paradise to check in on his buddy that now uses his old cardboard recycling bin to sleep, to make sure he hasn't found a wonderful surprise waiting in the parking lot...
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