23 hours ago
Friday, December 5, 2008
A New Me- St Louis #1
Watching your children grow up is one of the hardest things to do, but I feel my best accomplishments so far in life. Like a well written story of sorts. Filled with love, growing pain, romance, fun, laughter, done right silly'ness, and most of all a lesson in unconditional love for all parties. One of the most important things we go through together with our own parents and our own children is the reality that includes they look and act just like us no matter what you tried to do to stear them in a different direction. Seems like they have the good and bad!
One big reason for this trip was to get myself on the right track. Forcing myself to walk while my son is at work. Not have the usual distractions, and put priorities in place. I have looked in the mirror recently and seen my own mother and father. The belly and middle age aches and pains. Too many things to go into, but not a positive childhood. I read today about another bloggers karma reality coming down, and feel we have to purge and make things right when we see those signs.
For once I was smart enough to notice a book store in the NJ airport and remembered 'Twilight'. This is the book from the movie that just came out. I saw it last weekend without reading any reviews, for which I never do, so I can have my own opinion. (another blog on book and movie)
I got almost half way through the book when I landed, and will save the rest for the trip home. Why? Well because I walked into my son's apartment and found a real bonified bachelor pad. Yikes, no food in the fridge, a few cans of 'Blue Ribbon' beer (all he can afford I guess), and empties all over the place, along with dust, hardly any towels, and dirty laundry up to the ceiling...at least he has a bed for me. Well, I was disappointed since he was little he always kept a neat and organized space...suppose he got used to the girlfriend for three years busting his chops to be perfect that he has gone hog wild and let it all go.
This is where the 'He is just like me' comes in. I remember the working 24/7 to pay rent, no time to properly clean, college, and food on the go. When he got home from work I just looked at him and saw that he has gained some weight, and had a beard, and was happy to see me. He looked just like my dad, with hair on his chest, that corny Akin smile, jokes and laughter...but most of all he grabbed me and hugged me so tight and said 'I love you, Mom'.
He also had taken out his little christmas tree from when he and ex bought two years ago, and I guess he did not put one up when he came home last. Awwwwwweee, more work for me huh? LOL...We went out and he did his laundry, we shopped for food, and I was pround, no junk food in the basket (the beer is his junk now I suppose). We walked a few blocks and went to play darts, rented a movie 'Wanted' (which I love that McAvoy), and talked about his college plans and his current jobs and friends.
So far, I am glad that I came to spend this time with him. I did not want to wake up in years and not know what he was really like living away from me after 21. I was fearful that he was way into the drinking, but he has admitted he is over that, and moving on. Girls are out for now, because he said he realizes he has to get his act together to attract on he really would want to spend the rest of his life with.
A big fat sigh..............................