I Escaped With Only A Few Slices

If you follow my food post, you will see what comes out of my kitchen from time to time. This past week I couldn't sleep and though I would try my hand at baking. Something I don't do often, but manage a 99 percent tasty treat!

Fighting this diabetes wrap has been a hard one, since I like my carbs and sweets, but I am doing fine so far. I managed to go days without more than a bite to test it, sent half to work with my son, and usually hubs gets the honor of treating his co-workers. Sons fellow inmates at work gave it a big thumbs up. Half the sugar and made with graham flour, Chappatti in Indian cooking terms.

Well, off the sweets...I have had some sad news come my way while preparing dinner tonight- my mom's step-mother passed away this morning. She was estranged from us, along with my three aunts and young uncle. Tammy the oldest was my age, a few months older, and the others trailed after my little sister who is almost three years younger than I. We joked about them being aunts and uncle, but Tammy and I were often confused with being twins with our red hair and freckles and contagious laughter together.

I will be seeing them all this week at the funeral. It is oddly freakish that my oldest sister and I had not laid eyes on each other after years of estranged silence; she also lived with us when I was young and appeared at my moms fathers funeral. A sad reunion of sorts on all accounts. My travels will take me to New Orleans in the next few days. Not sure if I will drive or fly.

Fighting the family weirdness and dependencies has been even harder. I am still not speaking to my little sister since she washed her hands of me twice after I spoke the truth to her. My son has little to no family in his future, and as a male with no emotional ties to them, he seems to be fine with it.

I hope this finds you all at peace in your own lives...my journey is always an adventure, and I hope yours is as well...

(photo taken by me of my son rock climbing- I go and watch him from time to time, and we talk about what he needs to work on.)

Yes, He Is My Nerd and Poetry

Somewhere in this room my very own sweetie is hard at work during a hack-a-thon class. He participates in these very often these days. I am a computer widow. Not a gold, sports, or even a hunting widow. I can live with this. I adore him with all my heart.

He has started reading me poetry, and writes me love programs. How much nerdier can you get?

I wrote this for him a few years ago...

Unconditional

The husband faithfully says “luscious” as he looks upon a wife’s naked body  planting kisses on morning lips    wide brown eyes drink in this eve in undiscovered garden    books and papers lie about like flowers on the blanket vine     unfolding to the day    filling a mind with fragrant knowledge     create dinner’s bouquet at the evenings table    two hands reach down cupping breasts like the child    hungry to feed the hours    a wife quenches    he is her adoring sun rising over majestic mountains    on the coldest days.

Jury Duty Is A No Go

Yes, I got out of Jury Duty. Actually I was looking forward to it, but as it approached yesterday my immune system floundered me. I ended up to back at the doctors office for two reasons- not feeling well with coughing achy cold symptoms and my meds have had me wacky. Thankfully not the flu. When I called in sick, the woman told me they didn't need me anyway. Uh! Okay then. I clearly sounded ill on her end, and that dry rough voice has two sides.

I won't go into the body is drying up like a prune without the help of meds and how the new pill to ward off high blood sugar while I get a grip on my weight added onto my high blood pressure pill were adding to it all. I was miserable. Christmas was honestly horrible for me. I would eat a spoonful and I became immobilized. It was also adding to my already increasingly grumpy attitude. I already have issues sleeping all night. Cross your fingers taking away the diuretic will help me till some weight comes off. Edema has been an issue since I was 18. So has high blood pressure, because it runs in my family on both sides.

Okay off me, and onto other things. My great nephew was had said to have been in need of heart surgery. They evidently they found a murmur, according to my sister, and you know how I feel about that- she has not been truthful much of her life, as her son, and both suffer from mental illness. I never know what is the truth. God I love her, but it stretches me to have conversations with her. One minute she is saying one thing and the next going against what she says. I believe she does it to cover up her messes in life and to hide the fact she has not lead a great life. She has been in one mess after another. I know you don't know her, but hubs will back me up on this, my son as well.

If Evan did have surgery yesterday, I hope he is fine. She left a message on our home phone, but I can't talk to her. I have been very sensitive lately over this issue, my sister period. We simply cannot talk anymore. It all began before Christmas when she got up set because I wouldn't answer her "its an emergency phone call" while I was driving home. So she called Robert at work, then he called me. She wanted me to do something right then and there, but hubs and I both agreed it could wait until after I got back.

She disagreed and "washed her hands of me", but began calling me again after a few days. I do love her, but her emergency frantic calls about how she needs help to get out of a mess has reached its limits. Have I ever told you I have never met Evan? We buy him gifts and have them sent to her and she reports back. Then tells me her son sells stuff on ebay for money because he and his girlfriend live with her parents?

Sigh. They gave my sister a coat for Christmas and then asked for it back, because they sold it on ebay. Sigh. Then when I brought it up, asking if he sold our gifts she said he never did it. I was making that up and why was I being such a -----. Really. She also told me because I wouldn't pray with her over her grandson, she would pray for me and have a nice life. I saw her at Christmas and wow did she gain weight and she was acting a little wacky.

Maybe she is going through menopause like I have been. Maybe. So much. Too much for me. I think its just another "I need attention". Me me me every time we talk on the phone. I can't tell you the last time she ever called me and said "How are you sister?". Never. The  last thing my father said to me before he passed was to watch out for her because she can't take care of herself. "Daddy, its time for her to grow up."

Sorry for, the long vent. Hubs needs a break. I spare my son as well. We all need a break from that drama.

On a positive note, work is going great. My clients both text me to see how I feel. I adore my new families. I have an admirer too. He is 75 and hubs is getting a kick out of the attention this guy is paying me. I'm growing old with hubs though. One thing at a time! Heh! I am also taking a Adobe Photoshop class once a week for two hours. I may start taking writing classes at the college.

(photo above is to show I can laugh at myself- also finally learned photoshop cropping in class- Go ahead and laugh, because I am! A sense of humor works wonders doesn't it.)

Where are you heading?

I am not going far this upcoming week, but work is satisfying and writing is on and off. I am reminded why as a busy mom and business owner (seems like a lifetime already) how I struggled to write as little as I did.

There is always time to learn! I was introduced to Couchsurfing.org, because my son wants to travel abroad again and is looking at options. We would have to in return host fellow couchsurfers, and I am not so keen on that. Mainly because our condo is so small, they literally would be on the couch with no privacy.

Well I mainly wanted to say hello...and Peace all!

(photo taken on the south side of the big island of Hawaii, where the lava still flows into the ocean- Kalapana)

Happy New Year!

But don't throw out the old just yet.

I am glad the holidays are over. Now I can get back to writing and some peace and quiet.

Love hubs, but he needs to go back to work. If over a week of him hanging in every room I'm in, making noise just as I am reading and writing, I'm in trouble when the real retirement is here. Just sayin'.

Yes, I got grumpy at the whole house yesterday and blew our New Year's Eve celebrating out of the water. Went to bed early and woke up minutes before midnight. I am going to talk with the doctor about hormone replacement. He mentioned it last visit when I talked about how dry my body is getting. Women, you know what I mean. The change. They weren't kidding when they called it that with serious expression. I am finally after ten years of feeling it coming on, changed! Heh!

Get your Black-eyed Pea-zazz on today for good luck. Peace, love, and hugs.

The drugs and rock-n-roll was locked out of my house a millennium ago.

(photo above was taken in Hawaii, The Big Island on the Parker Ranch tour. They had gotten loads of rain over the week, and everything was green...and muddy!)