A Bit Of Sad News

My heart is broken, yet again. We lost hubs father and step dad in 03, my parents in 04, and then his dad's only direct relative, his cousin and often called 'brother' five years ago. Robert Sr. and Harry Bailey grew up only children. They had cousins by marriage, but they were like peanut butter and jelly otherwise. Always together in youth and as grown men. Their families were always either on Long Island or in the Bronx.

They all passed away from cancer. Except of course my parents.

Two years ago we had some 'C' scares, one of them, Harry's wife Joan announced she was full blown cancer and there was no cure. She would live on chemo and see her youngest son marry, have a son six months and, but her middle child a girl would not get married. Her oldest son was and had already given her two grandchildren.

Why. Why does this happen so young and to people who have done nothing but given good to our society. She was now a retired teacher and loved to travel. Like Harry Joan made us laugh. I sigh now. First hubs dads, his beloved Harry just before we legally got married, and now Harry's wife.

We leave this afternoon to head to the wake, and will attend the funeral in the morning. I am as you know not big on death these days. Who is? I know, but it is just not fair. My parents lived a long, maybe not so full, but they lived a much longer life. Why couldn't Harry and Joan lived to laugh more?

RIP Joan Bailey. We love and miss your smiling face.

Spring Is Sprung

What kind of flowers grow between your nose and chin?

Why 'two lips' of course! (blame my son)

He has been running around telling this joke all weekend, because I ask him to tame his humor down around the hubs mom and step-mom. When he and hubs are around each other the vulgar male side comes out and they forget I am in the room. Is this a testosterone thing? I don't get it, because they are so behaved around the girls. I guess I am one of the boys to them!

Wasn't it a gorgeous weekend? Foggy Friday and Saturday night, but still sunny and perfect!

Well things are going okay. It has been a bit stressful getting Aaron up to speed on our house rules if he is going to live with us. He got a job and started yesterday. Back in his old role like in St. Louis, food service. Seems mom had a great influence.

It was the job he applied for he really crossed his fingers for. I am happy for him. He doesn't have a drivers license though. His was stolen in Asia. We are not sure what he will do. He has to contact St. Louis and see if they can send him a copy. Otherwise NJ is strict on their point system and his personal affects are in Texas with his aunt.

I am hoping he takes the bus. I absolutely do not want him to drive my new car. It scares me, and I want to keep our gas money low- our food bill hasn't really changed since hubs is working so much. My son also eats healthy, so it helps me stick to my diet.

Well, I have to work Wed, Thur, and Friday so I am going now. My writing time has been limited the past three weeks and thank goodness Aaron is leaving with friends today...give me space and time for drafts and an outline for a funny story he, Grandma Val and I developed while winery hopping Saturday for St. Paddy's Day. Here is a peek at more of my son's sense of humor...(above)he was an Irish Rabbi in this outfit...and a view of him from my reverse camera...

(Intro photo is my mother-in-law's flowers in the front entry- aren't they gorgeous!)

Beautiful Days Ahead

It's A Long Walk Home

Your tears and your suitcase
have been rolling down that old track
if you find you are weary
here, a good chance and a place to rest
in fields of love and color

brother and sisters, always welcome
my door most often, always open

lost souls and gamblers
c'mon in and sit for a while
no one will ever push you aside
skies above, a solid roof over head
its for sure- dark clouds are just passing by

often we are swallowed up
passing ships and wandering storms
closing tired eyes to make it all disappear
missing yellow orange morning sails
our faith that goodness can  and will

prevailing captains will chart a course
but that is what makes life what it is
no dream is ever the same
or a season ever come without some change
ready or not, let it go and watch it fly.

First draft of this poem, and my first rejected poem for 2012 is over at...Make Friday Write by Jessie Carty

(photo above- my son, Aaron in Thailand. He said the butterfly was laying on its side, but flew away.)

Make Friday Write 'Monday?'

I should call this 'Mess Monday' for lots of reasons. First, my son has been here for seven days now and I'm exhausted! Yes, I'm a mess, tired and my hip is acting up. Thankfully he went off with one of my open mic friends, one his age to give me a break. We love our kids, want them around, but now I remember, two weeks at his house and I'm ready to go home. Yeah, I said it! I know how my dad felt when he said my middle name was 'Go!'

The other thing, secondly, he likes this girl he is off with and I'm not happy. I told him not to, and excuse my language, but don't poop where I eat! Goodness he just broke up with the one I liked, and this one is just like her. She is my friend. I don't get it? He says he regrets what he did in Korea now, and doesn't plan on doing it again. Uh huh.

Okay, well Jessie was a bit late, and even skipped two weeks of Make Friday Write, but I got something together last minute as well. I am giving you the first draft version, but have put a more organized version up at her site- Jessie Carty. Take a look at both and tell me what you think. She says something about it as well...not sure if it will go in that direction. I will rework it eventually, and lately I keep two drafts.

Oh BTW I got accepted into my seventh ezine so far in the new year! A new piece 'Picketing On A New Side Of Sorrow', and will share links at some point. Yay! I feel my writing has greatly improved. So has my article writing. I move forward...

Many writers don't like to share to much about what sparked the idea for a piece, but this one began as a few words in a song by my friend Lance, 'little bones'.

A Soul Lay Very Very Still

two worlds collide when
a vine overtakes the great oak out front
while the children roam the yard
a mother begins to clip and prune
across the stream laying in a grave
thrown off to the side without reverence
possibly tossed in a rush
small legs might have reached heights
walked through this field as if royalty
won races of great importance
but too weak to crawl to safety
children play devil’s advocate
making faces only a mother could love
even in the little mistakes
we can always find wisdom
build big fires outside or in
ashes and remains will nourish
and strengthen forest to come
peaches lay about the ground
its tree is stripped bare
small bites are revealed in the flesh
of deaths needs
left to feed imaginations hunger
sweetens a grandmothers bitterness
shallow graves house the nameless
forgotten regrets
haunt the night
little bones left to the cold
and very very still



(photo above- my friend, a singer/songwriter, and his clever album cover)

Ane's Day

When I dream, she is not far behind.

She loved animals, not more than, but the same as her fellow humans.

She was not afraid of animals. She would walk right up to them and reach out.

If she met you for the first time, she would find out what pets you had. If she found a cat or kitten, watch out, she would make sure you stayed within the taking care of animals the right way line. No choice. 

If she had not had health problems we had thought we would send her to vet school. Maybe she would have been the first female horse whisperer.  Buck Brannaman would have gotten along great with her.

Happy Birthday Anelisa. Today is 26 years of my love for you.