I learned today a former acquaintance passed away, not sure when or how. I have no feelings either way, not happy, which some might find rude if I was; nor sad, we did not have a good re-pore between us. He was a stalker towards me, and I had filed a restraining order against him (called the police many times). He called me consistently on the phone over a course of three years, usually drinking late at night. I truly was in true fear of my safety. He was cruel, snarky, and plain mean in his actions. He often told people it was me, that I was a liar and a fake. That I took his actions wrong. Strong personalities like his are narcissistic in nature, bullies.
Sure I am a grown woman, but what most didn't understand is I had been robbed, raped, and attacked by two men like him. You are emotionally scared, some call it PTSD in today's terms. It never goes away.
There was a laugh when he suddenly added "Chef" to his name a few years ago, after he told me you had to earn it, as if I hadn't, when I worked in the business for 30 plus years, attended and worked for a culinary school, as well as worked as executive chef on several jobs.
He caught me on the tale end of my cafe and catering business, asking me for a job on the phone once. I was avoiding him on the fact of his strong personality, but the real truth was the economy hit hard here, and in my area no one hires you if they have not tasted your food. Many catering companies here have been a round for a long time, word of mouth, and many closed shortly afterwards. I worked as a personal chef for four years, on the side, but my clients daughter passed from the same illness my own daughter had eight years prior, I had to just call it quits, and re-invent myself. Things were just bad, but I had no work for him or anyone at that time.
I was happy to see him get into the business he wanted so badly, because it meant he might leave me alone. I had to remove comments from my food blog because of him, and added them back to this one. He tried to friend me on Facebook when I moved there, and I had to block him and the false names he used. I hoped he would give up.
Eventually he did stop bothering me. He stopped calling and coming over here to leave me comments. He did not run me off of the blogging world as he had wanted, I just found myself busy with my new business and writing. I do credit him for pushing me in that direction, I wanted to prove to him I was a good poet and writer, so thank you for that one old boy. I am sorry your son has to go it alone without you. I always felt his son deserved better.
Many of my foodie friends had no idea, one did, she was a great help to me during those times, and even agreed his personality was strong for my fears. I am grateful for her help and advise. I tried to move on, and did.
Being hateful all these years (since 07) wasn't me. I do not wish for anyone to fall prey to illness or even death. All I wanted for was for this person to stop being mean to others, he did not own the net, blogs, or even the food environment, and I did hear he did what he did to me often enough. Most thought he was such a nice guy, granted he did have some talent (was great at mimicking others, and often admitted it). I knew better.
Okay enough, I just had to say what was on my mind. I was taught to get it out in the open, and it is easier to move on.