tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8139980430155806217.post5558295720083552963..comments2023-04-13T04:45:31.494-07:00Comments on Creative TMI: Revision IChef Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11198603107302675448noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8139980430155806217.post-19803226868712174702010-09-18T06:05:52.859-07:002010-09-18T06:05:52.859-07:00Thanks Jessie, I will do some edits when I add it ...Thanks Jessie, I will do some edits when I add it to my manuscript.Chef Ehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11198603107302675448noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8139980430155806217.post-42873592343882839342010-09-14T11:33:24.098-07:002010-09-14T11:33:24.098-07:00ok, i'm coming in on the 2nd version of the po...ok, i'm coming in on the 2nd version of the poem and it is pretty strong. I do wonder about having punctuation in some parts but not in other places and the last two lines almost don't seem needed because you already say that within the poem. <br /><br />Using the different time periods with challenger, 9-11 etc is very effective though!Jessie Cartyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13181286764480973423noreply@blogger.com